A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If a person sleeps with someone else, while you are on a break, and also has feelings for the new person AND you as well. Does it count as cheating? Is it right to get back with that person after this has happened? Should the fact that they slept with someone else be ignored and forgotten about?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): thanks guys. Appreciate the answers.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): I would think that it depends on several things. If both have only been with 1 or 2 partners, think they want to be together, but want to feel better that there is not a person who is better suited to them, then it is fine to date others if they both agree to it. If they have both been with many partners, then they should have a good idea of what they want in a long time partner and then it is just an excuse to sleep around. If this is a break because the relationship if not good or failing then I think it is best to just give it up and start over with someone else. What is allowed is whatever the 2 people involved agree on. If seeing others is done secretly, then I would consider it cheating. My wife and I had somewhat this situation when we first met 28 years ago. She was only my 2nd partner ever, while she had 10 partners. She wanted me to date others so that I would be sure that she was what I wanted. It worked for both of us. It will be a bad idea for others. Just agree in advance what is acceptable and be true to that agreement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): The break usually means to reassess a situation, not to go out and get laid. If my bloke had done that i wouldnt have him back. If the break was to make a decision then sorry, but the decision would of been to get rid, pure and simple.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): If I thought that someone LOVED me and I found out that he slept with someone else while we were on a break, I would absolutely not forgive him. Ever. That would just show me that he didn't really love me.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 hey,
when people are on a break they need some time off and some space. but that doesn't mean sleep with someone else!
if you still to have a good relationship with your partner , you can't do anything when you are on a break!
yes it is cheating!
and i don't think it can be forgoten.
good luck byeXXX
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A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 'on a break' means getting some breathing space, weighing up he relationship and having the chance to see it for what it is. It is not a green flag to sleep with other people. Yes I would class it as cheating. weather you want to forgive her is your choice. You would have to have a serious chat with her,if she wants o reastablish the relationship then maybe marrage councilling could work for you, given the infidelity aspect. marrage councilling isnt just for married people and most who go find they really enjoy it.
Good luck babe xxx
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (18 November 2007):
 Well if you want to be technical then no it isnt because you are not formally committed to each other anymore. I would tend to say its one of those things that is subjective, if you are still strongly attached to the other person then it may feel like cheating but personally I dont see how you can have any complaints, depending maybe too on who initiated the break, its pretty much like being in an open relationship. If they initiated the break then the liklihood is they did this so they could sleep with the other person guilt free so I would frown on that...whether you forgive them is up to you really. I dont think there is enough detail here to say much else really....
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 Yes, it is cheating. A break doesn't mean break up. I wouldn't get back with someone who did that and had feelings for both. Being in a relationship shouldn't be a competition with another person. That just sets it up for failure. I'd just walk away and tell them they can have the other person because I don't play the triangle game with anyone.
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