A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a single mother recently. I am 21, unmarried and without she is 39 and has a 3 year old daughter. She is awfully sweet and nice and suggested a second date soon -- so a second date is on the cards very soon.So do you think it is ok to kiss a single mother on a second date? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2020): If a kiss is in the cards, there’s no law that states it has to happen as the date concludes. For example, if there’s a spark after you both unknowingly order the same drink, it’s okay to kiss afterward. To make sure your date is on the same page, you should ask before making the move—otherwise, it might lead to embarrassment. A simple “I would really like to kiss you, is that okay?”
Kissing someone new for the first time is magical. It’s worth waiting for. If your partner isn’t feeling it by the second date, don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with their personal boundaries and expectations.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2020): Ask her.
...............................
A
female
reader, linmuir  +, writes (11 March 2020):
Okay, I'm a single mother and I see this slightly differently to those who have responded so far.
Single mums have, historically, been subjected to a huge amount of 'hate speech' and moral judgement - even when they may have been abandoned by their husbands through no fault of their own ( I was ).
If you genuinely care about this woman you will also care about her reputation AND how she perceives her reputation; we have to be especially guarded about this; even on this website I've written in and been subjected to some harsh judgement by people who I've otherwise really admired for how they respond and seem to care for others.
So - my suggestion is talk to her about how she really feels about being a single mum and get a sense of how she responds to you asking about this; be careful - some single mums are very sensitive to the possibility of being judged and even bringing this up may be an issue. BUT my bet is that the majority will love to even be asked and EVEN BETTER to show that you care about their kid(s) - not necessarily in a step father to be way but just from man to woman, person to person. You'd be amazed, honestly, how many men either freak out entirely when they find out you're a single mum OR they just go into a complete denial and ignore that fact altogether - any man who can just be human about it and 'show willing' to be a nice person to the woman's child(ten) is already paving the way for a great first kiss.
So, I think what I'm saying is do the groundwork - show you care, show you are able to talk about her single mum status maturely and that you don't judge her for it and then you will sense whether or not she wants to be kissed.
It's good that you asked this question - so many people don' know where to begin with single mothers, even now !!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 March 2020):
 I don;'t think her being a "single mom" has much bearing on whether you should kiss her on a second date or not.
What SHOULD be considered is are YOU interested in dating her? Is she interested in dating you?
And if you at the END of the night have doubts if you should or should not kiss her, ASK her, is it OK for me to kiss you?
Not really complicated.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2020): With corona virus (Covid-19 virus) going around; be health-conscious and considerate of others. She has a kid, and you may get-out and around in public a lot more than she does.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2020): You may sweetly ask for a kiss, and she'll be the judge of whether or not it's too soon.
Word of advise. Don't treat her like "your" mother! If you're going to date women older than you are; don't be so "conscience" of the fact that they are. It would seem like a fetish or some kind of porn-scenario going-on in your mind. It's a thing these days!
Be natural and sweet. Most of all, be mature. Don't behave like a "twink" or a "boy-toy!" Not if you want to be taken seriously!
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (9 March 2020):
 We need a lot more information.
There is just nothing here to base any decision on.
What is your dating /kissing / sexual history?
What is hers?
Why did she have to suggest a second date?
Now for the warning part. At your ages there is a significant power structure inequality. If you have no experience with this (and i would be very surprised if you had adequate experience) you need a lot of information and a few simple safeguards before going forward with this relationship.
To answer your question succinctly, obviously a single mother has some sexual history, and based on that she is most likely wondering why you didn't kiss her on the first date, (assuming it was a proper date). But BUT, I see where you are coming from. Also it is obvious that she is the veteran of a breakup. So she may be much more cautious in a new relationship. But she might not.
And that wasn't very succinct.
The only hard and fast rule for dating single parents is that you don't meet the kids until you are in a committed relationship with real long term plans. That's the important bit.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2020): I suppose it is OK since she is letting you to date her, as long as the mood is right.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (9 March 2020):
 Would you kiss someone who is not a "single mother" on a second date? Why would you treat this lady any differently?
...............................
|
