A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, needing some advice. Nothing has happened yet but I want to get some advice before it does so that maybe I have a better idea of what I'm doing.A few months ago my best friend went away abroad for a year - shes studying abroad. We're really close and I miss her a fair bit. I've always had a really good relationship with her family, in particular her older brother ho she is quite close to and who used to hang out with us a lot when we'd go out drinking and clubbing. Since sh went away, I've found I'm spending more and more time with him. At first it started off like we were txting eachother asking - have u heard from her (the friend) etc but then it got to the point like - do you want to go out ot this event and thaevent and now we're sort of seeing eachother very second day. My friend isn't using her phone in the other country because sh thinks it wil lbe too expensive, so we are mainly communicating by letters as she can't get access to a computer all that often. She doesnt know about how much time I've been spening with her brother.Nothing has happened yet but I'm feeling like it might. When we are out he sometimes puts his hand on my back and he has invited me over to his for dinner one night.I basically want some advice here and just general thoughts. Is this a no go/strictly forbidden thing or is there hope here?
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female
reader, Vodaphone  +, writes (23 October 2009):
I am dating a lad now and his sister knows and she fine with it, but I suppose people are different. Anyway I would tell the sister and say I am dating your brother and at the same time you need to spend as much time you want with the sister and the brother... tell them and then see how it works out and now my relationship has worked out fine....
A
female
reader, CaliMoore +, writes (24 July 2009):
 My best friend dated my older brother in secret and only bothered to tell me because they were about the get caught out by her father! if your gonna do it ask you friend first mention you like him and see what she says, mine didnt and we are no longer friends, when i found out i was upset/angry! i havent spoken to her in almost 8 months and dont intend to, for all thats come from it, she was 15 and he was 23! me and brother were real close, best friends, and we have never been the same, everytime i look/see/hear they're names i think of the whole situation/history and it just kills my mood.. i don't think i will ever forgive my ex best friend, or my brother for that, they lied to me, humilated me, and made me the one to explain it to everyone we knew at school, knowing it upset me the first time, they continued after it quietened down and when i found out they they continuted again! my brother was my best friend and seeing how upset i was didnt make a damn difference to him nor did it to her! i hate what happened, and i suggest you tell your friend before making or allowing him to make any moves! if you truly appreciate the friendship you have with your friend you'll take my advice if you dont and move on with it anyway, it just shows your selfish and only worry about yourself and was never a true friend to her in the first place! if you wanna talk/ask about any of it, email me
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (7 July 2009):
Eh, i had a bit of a reverse situation.. I started dating my best friend's sister. I fell head over heels for her, and we dated for 2 years. It wound up ending VERY badly, and i was so hurt by the experience that i just could not continue hanging out with my friend. I tried for about a year after the relationship, but eventually i had to stop seeing him.It was just too hard, emotionally. I've known other people who have said the same thing.. Just be very aware that should things end badly, you could see your relationship with your friend go up in smoke, too.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (7 July 2009):
 Many friends of mine started relationships with sisters/brothers of their close friend and it turned out fine. It did kind of get awkward in one situation because the relationship ended bad.
I doubt your friend would have something against it too.
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A
male
reader, mister.m  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 Be honest and follow your heart. Yes, you can date him.
If you do really like him, and been dating with him, never try to keep this a secret from your best friend. She may feel you're sneeky. Tell her you like him, and ask how she thinks of it.
Good luck,
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A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (7 July 2009):
I'm not a woman so in your situation I can't be exact, but I'll throw the male point of view into it. :)
If my best friend wanted to date my sister, then I would really like him to ask me first out of respect. Hopefully your friend won't have a problem with it and give you the OK.
Remember even if your relationship doesn't work out you can still continue to have your friend.
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