A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it ok to cheat if he isn't satisfying me sexually. I love him but we don't have sparks. but I am settling because we have a baby together and I'm 19 he is 25 and he knows I am settling but he is so in love with me he is ok with it. I want to have sex with some1 else I don't have feelings for I just know they are good in bed because we were friends with benefits at one point years ago. Is this ok or should I just find other means for sexual pleasure. Any suggestions?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): try threesome
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 June 2010):
No. End of. If you feel the need to cheat, then end it. Don't hurt him.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 June 2010):
 No. It's not OK at all. Why would you think it's OK? It's not fair for either of you to "settle" just because a baby is involved. Why not try to fix your love life instead of taking the easy way out? Try adding in sex toys and playing out fantasies. If nothing works try a couples counselor specializing in sex.
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A
female
reader, MsBehavin +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Of course it's not OK - it's wrong. In fact, I can't imagine any possible situation that would ever make it OK. Especially since you have such a fixable problem as unsatisfactory sex. Take charge in the bedroom and tell him what you like, dislike, fantasize about, etc. There are literally thousands of, er, tools that you could use to fix that problem in no time at all.
Now, that being said, it seems like there's more to it than just bad sex. If you're "settling" on him and you're vocal about that fact, then you need to accept part of the blame. How well do you expect him to perform if you're rubbing his face in the idea that you could do better than him?
Sounds to me like you've already got one foot out the door. Go ahead & break it off clean. You'd have less collateral damage that way.
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A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 It's not OK. You need to get out of the relationship and then go and do what you want. Cheating is never OK, unless the two people agree that it is (a very rare case!)
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