A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 33 yrs old and could care less if I had sex again!! It's gross, and disgusting I have to be drunk to have sex with my husband. Is that normal, and how do you think I should handle it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): Yes it's SICK, DISGUSTING, NASTY, FILTHY, EVIL and WRONG.
All sex must be STAMPED OUT RUTHLESSLY AND VICIOUSLY. All those who engage in it must be EXTERMINATED.
A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (20 November 2009):
 Yes, it is a very rude and messy habit. People should find better things to do like make a rug together or go to church.
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A
male
reader, Jim01 +, writes (20 November 2009):
I feel bad for your husband! and no, it is not normal at all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): Contrary to the earlier posts, yes, I'm afraid it's quite normal for American women around your age these days, especially in marriages between jaded "liberated" women who grow board of their mostly obese, unattractive, lackluster husbands (for good reason.)Lose some weight, start taking care of yourself. Find some sexy clothes, head out with the girls and dump your guy for someone to whom you are *honestly* attracted.You'll stop thinking sex is gross once you've found the right guy. Stop resorting to the bottle and find your ideal man. You can't hide behind those beer goggles every time ol' boyfriend gets randy.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): No Im afraid thats not normal. Try to see a professional for this. How do you and your husband handle this situation? Do you know when it started? There might be things you can do to revert the feelings of disgust, but there is also a chance that this feeling will stay permanent. For you that probably wont make a difference, but this will have a serious effect on your husband. Without intimacy, marriage turns into friendship only. This will probably cause him grief. So I do hope the two of you can work this out together.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (20 November 2009):
Whoa... ummm no I don't think that's normal. Sex with your husband should be a beautiful, loving exchange of intimacy and pleasure that builds closeness and brings deep satisfaction. Unless of course your husband is a perverted troll... but if that was the case I'd imagine you wouldn't have married him.
How should you handle it? Well, I'm wondering what's happened to you that makes you disgusted by it - if you were abused, or had a bad experience, or raised to believe that sex is bad and disgusting?
Perhaps you should speak with a therapist to understand why you feel this way. It's not really fair to your husband to deny him a sex life. But neither is it fair to you to make you participate in something that you feel abhorrent about. Maybe in therapy you can work through your issues and get to a place where you can begin to enjoy it. I'm pretty sure it's meant to be enjoyed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): I think that a lot of people certainly feel that way but it's not a healthy way to think about sex - it usually stems back to some bad experiences you had in your past or maybe a bad relationship with a man - maybe your father, brother or an ex boyfriend? I would certainly seek some counselling with a relationship therapist of you can and talk through your feelings about sex. If anything, it's such a shame because sex can be a source of such joy in your life and it would be a real shame if you had to miss out on all that.
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