A
female
age
36-40,
*aw Peep
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We love each other very much and have a healthy sex life. I found out today that he watches porn sometimes. He told me without hesitation and I did not ask. We some how got on the topic of porn. He said ever since we have been together he rarely watches it but maybe once a month for a quick "fix". It doesn't bother me that he does this and I am glad he was honest with me, but I still find it kind of odd for some reason. He is my first b/f ( I am 22 and he is 29). I don't feel insecure or less desired by him now that I know he has watched porn here and there since we have been together, but I feel strange that he watches it even though our sex life has gotten even better since we met. Is this really something men just do even if they are in a really healthy relationship? Even before I found out he watches it ,we have discussed each other's fantasies and he always told me he doesn't really have any and he just prefers me in the flesh. So It couldn't be that he watches it because he has "fantasies" because he says he is extremely happy with me and only me. I ask because he is my first b/f and I have not had experience being in a real relationship till him.
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insecure, porn, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): lol... Yes Replacement is right.. Most men (not all) like to look at porn. There a few who don't like it, but most of them do... Some women also like to look at porn too, and some women and men actively hate it.... Normal is whatever you want it to be...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Porno gives men sort of like what celebrity gossip & cheap romance novels & soap operas gives women. It's just a cheap disposable fantasy, not a threat to your attraction for your real-life relationship partner.
A number of women will probably disagree with me about this. And as soon as they have the experience of living in a male body, having male brain chemistry, and spending their whole life in this world as a male, then I'll believe their opinion about what something really is to men.
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 "i feel all men indulge in watching porn."
I'm starting to get sick of saying this but, no, not all men watch porn.
Yes, it is common. Some would argue that it is 'normal'. But no, not every man does it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): Men tend to have higher sex drives than women in their 20s and 30s and sometimes even at later ages. It is not uncommon to satisfy these sexual urges with porn and masturbation. I have had a higher sex drive than my wife for most of our 30 years and I used to watch porn when she was not in the mood. That was fine with her, as I gave her all the attention, affection and sex that she desired. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you at all.
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A
female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Yes it is normal and healthy for a man to watch porn especially at that age. Some men might find some things about sex which is helpful for them. Hope i help you on this matter
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A
female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 the answer is yes definitely!!.. i feel all men indulge in watching porn.. whether they are with someone or not.. men are such visual creatures.. and porn satisfies their need for visual stimuli.. it has nothing to do with you however, absolutely nothing.. its his way of releasing tension.. and partaking in his fantasies without any outside involvement.. if you want to understand him more.. maybe a good thing would be to sit and watch it with him and see his reaction.. and then discuss things afterwards.. having an honest open sexual relationship is healthy and will strive to reestablish and develop trust and mutual respect for each other.. which is very important in any relationship.. good luck
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A
female
reader, abbeymom +, writes (29 August 2008):
 It's even better if you watch it with him LOL!Okay joking aside. It's normal. Hubby and I watch SexTV together. Sometimes apart. It's also normal for a man who is having great sex to masturbate as with women to do the same and not because there is anything wrong with their partner.You learn as you get older to accept your partners idiosyncrasies and what turns them on. He was honest. He told you. That is a great thing. If he were trying to hide it I'd worry. If you weren't having sex anymore I'd worry.Love him and be loved by him. All is well.~ Abbeymom
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): ok telling you the truth and nothing but the truth, guys of this century are into porn. Thats undeniable fact! The degree of normality rests with everyone's perception and understanding. so if u ask "is it normal?", just my answer will be NO.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Is it normal for a woman who has a healthy romantic life to watch romantic movies?
Anyway, the word 'normal' is really used in the wrong way here. When it comes to sex few things are normal and few people would be able to agree in the first place what is normal anyway.
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A
male
reader, Replacement +, writes (29 August 2008):
Yes it's common. As long as you are both content with the arrangement and your relationship isn't suffering, don't worry about it.
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