A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am currently in embarking in my first real relationship, and it was going absolutely swimmingly for the first few months. To start out, I was a closeted gay male when I met this person. He slowly helped me build my confidence, and helped me come out to all of my family and friends. I fell in love with him, and he told me the same. We enjoy the time we spent together, and we were always around each other. I got so used to sleeping over and next to him, and I loved it.He has an ex boyfriend with whom he moved into an apartment back in May. His boyfriend is crazy, and he swears up and down that there are no feelings. Well it turns out his boyfriend is a legal resident of the apartment, and has started coming in and sleeping on the couch, threatening to file for an unhealthy living enviornment because of me being there. My boyfriend has asked me to not stay over until this blows over, and it's been driving me nuts. Not because I can't sleep next to him, but I start worrying what he's doing when I'm not around. I trust him, I really do, but he's charming and beautiful, and while he tells me I am as well, I just don't think it is. I know I have self confidence issues, but they dissapear when I'm around him, only to come back when I'm alone. Am I being paranoid? He promises me this will blow over soon, and he's been making future plans (going away for new years, meeting my friends/family, he's already met my mother and my closest friends.) I tell myself he wouldn't invest this much time to cheat on me, but I can't help to think it.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (9 December 2008):
 your perceptions of events and the meanings they hold for you are what cause your feelings. do you lack trust as well as confidence? does insecurity make you desire his company all the time? if so this is not healthy and you need to become more independent and then trust your instincts when they are free from your paranoia. intuition is there for a reson and an ex is a big threat to a current relationship. WAY too much opportunity to do things that would not happen if they did not live together.
watch out!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): Hi - I am sorry you are feeling so sad and unsure - think? listen to your instincts, is this relationship making you happy - spiritually, morally, emotionally, are you feeling, happy and fulfilled , with joy and a future to look forward to ...... only you know, if not, ask yourself some difficult questions, is this the right person for you ! You matter - your feelings are important, you are a person who has a heart - take care of it. God Bless Best Wishes, Good Luck ! Gladys XX
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