A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Would it be mean to ghost, a guy who treated you good for over six months, but it just isn't working for you, I don't want to cry when I break up with him in person, so I just want to block him, my girlfriend tells me, that be cruel,not giving him a reason, or a good bye, it would be so much easier, that's how I always do it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2018): I agree that GHOSTING is wrong in MOST cases. However...if he isn't 'getting the picture" or not hearing you or harassing in any way to the point where you feel unheard,you can say you don't want to talk anymore and you have to block him
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 January 2018):
 That is how you always do it? Why would you treat people like this? It might make it easier on you, but it can completely destroy the other persons self confidence and self esteem. I don't understand how people can be so selfish and cruel in life.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (20 January 2018):
 Treat people the way you want to be treated. Ghosting is cruel and can really shatter someone's confidence.
Woman up and do it. Go for coffee and explain how you feel. It's much better to cry than to block a nice person with no explanation.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 January 2018):
 It's a shame you never learned how to face difficult situations and end things properly instead of taking the coward's way out and running away.
Nobody actually LIKES finishing with someone (unless they are a total a$$hole) and nobody LIKES causing people upset and pain, but actually telling someone face to face is the humane and adult thing to do. Ghosting is just rude and childish.
It doesn't matter if you cry. What matters is that you treat this guy the way he has treated you over the past few months, instead of leaving him with lots of unanswered questions for a long time afterwards.
Put yourself in his shoes. If you are old (and mature) enough to have a relationship, you should be mature enough to end it in a civilized manner.
I am curious to know whether you actually thought ANYONE would think just ghosting him would be a good idea? Listen to your friends.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2018): Yes. It's the cowards way out. It's rude and childish and quite frankly, you're too old to act like a child.
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female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (20 January 2018):
Please don't ghost him, that is super hurtful. If he has treated you well, you need to tell him the truth. Yes telling him will be hard, but at least you will spare him more hurt then just ignoring him.
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (20 January 2018):
 Would you like it if someone did it to you?
Have something about you and be honest. If it's not working it's not working, tell him. To just blank him leaving him wondering what he did wrong is nothing short of cowardly.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (19 January 2018):
 OP, I truly hope that you will reconsider your decision to ghost the man. It isn't easy breaking things off but if the man has been good to you and you spent 6 months together don't you think he deserves to know what is going on? Would you want someone to treat you in this manner? I rather doubt it. Please be kind. If you don't want to tell him in person, call him on the phone, send an email or text even but PLEASE let him know that you no longer wish to see him. Its just the right thing to do especially when he is a good guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2018): Be considerate and face him. How would you prefer to be treated? Being cowardly and insensitive for the sake of protecting your own feelings will become your way of dealing with relationships. There will be karma that will boomerang back to you to show you just how that feels.
Time to grow-up and face things like a woman. You want to date and have relationships; then start creating good habits and building good character. Control the tears. They are crocodile tears when you're hurting someone else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2018): Don't do it. If he's such a nice person, at least have the decency to do it face to face. Breaking up hurts, but that's life.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 January 2018):
 I think ghosting someone is pathetic if they have done NOTHING wrong/mean/bad to you.
I think it's the COWARD'S way out.
So you don't want to cry, I get it. But you are a GROWN woman who should understand how HURTFUL it is when someone just cuts you off, especially if you didn't DO anything wrong or bad. He will be left baffled and not knowing WHAT he did "wrong". And if he did NOTHING wrong then what? Is that fair leaving him thinking "I must have done something really bad for her to do this to me"?
Be a decent human being, tell him (over the phone or even over text) that you really think he is a great person but you just don't feel it's working out for you, that you WISH him well and will be cutting all contact after that conversation.) YOU do NOT have to do it in person. I think over the phone or even a text is WAY more considerate than "ghosting".
That way you LEAVE with dignity and in a respectful manner.
Yes, I know "ghosting" is the thing people do these days, but you are not 20, you were hopefully raised to have some compassion, manners and consideration for your fellow human beings.
If he was a total fuckstick of a man, I'd say "GHOST" him all day, but someone who you have known for 6 months, who has TREATED you well for those 6 months, I think you OWE him the courtesy of letting him know you JUST don't see it working out.
If you had known him for a few weeks, I'd be less inclined to say "tell him". I think a few weeks is OK to "ghost" - not that I'm a fan of "ghosting" I think it's very cowardly. But there are situations where it's applicable. I don't think YOUR situation is, IF I can be totally honest.
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male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (19 January 2018):
How would you feel if he roles were reversed? Anyone who has treated you good for over six months deserves better than being ghosted. Don't worsen the situation for this guy just because you don't want to cry. And ghosting someone like this should be a killer for your self-respect. These aren't easy conversations but they are part of life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2018): DO not ghost him! I would just be honest and say how you feel!
When you ghost someone, you leave them with so many questions about what happened. I know from experience from when I was ghosted and I kept blaming myself for it. We live in a world where people prefer to just block someone out of their life, instead of communicating. Just my advice, treat others the way you would want to be treated.
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