A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya sorry if this is long I’ve been with my partner for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together we have had a few relationship problems this last few months such as our sex life has been non existent then I find porn on his phone which makes me insecure as we haven’t had sex for months sorry for tmi so I feel like he’s gone off me he also started adding women onto Facebook I asked him why he said cos he found them attractive I have posted on here about this before now I feel like my feelings for him are going I don’t feel happy anymore everything I say he disagrees with constantly it’s like I can say nothing right anymore we are both. Working 5 days a week but we never spend any time together to be honest since the beginning of the relationship we’ve been out for 4 meals in 4 year that is it his mum has offered to look after our daughter whenever we want I mention doing something but he just disagrees what should I do I feel so unhappy any advice would be gratefully accepted thank you
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 January 2018):
 Honestly I think the only way out here is for you to end the relationship. Porn is one thing, but adding random girls to social media and openly telling you it is because they are attractive is another thing. It is extremely disrespectful to you and I would never in a million years stay with someone who made me feel this insecure. It sounds like this relationship has run its course.
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (20 January 2018):
 Seems like he knows that whatever he does to you, you'll stick around.. guess what adding people on fb because they're *attractive* is not behaviour common to a faithful relationship. I guess if they started sexting him he would say no? Yeah right.
His behaviour shows he has checked out of the relationship and he's treating you like a doormat.
You need to check out too. Most importantly if he's the father he by law HAS to pay child support to you. I advise moving out if it's his place or chucking him out if it's yours. If it's joint go to citizens advice bureau n see what your options are.
See this as analogy- he's the hotel manager he's checked you out of your room.. you can refuse to go but no matter how much you prolong it it's the inevitable. You're just prolonging the pain.. it's over
I agree with YCBS- it's unhealthy for a kid to live in a dysfunctional environment they will absorb what they see.
Time to put YOU and YOUR DAUGHTER first.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 January 2018):
 Oh sweetheart, what are you getting from this relationship? From your post, it appears to be unhappiness, disrespect and insecurity. Do you not think you are worth so much more?
Your lovely little daughter is fast approaching an age where she will really start to notice the dynamics of the relationship between her mum and dad, and take on board that this is "normal" and the way relationships are. Then, in later life, she will gravitate towards people who treat her in the same way your partner treats you. Wind on the clock 20+ years. What would you say to your daughter if she said the same to you as you have written in your post? Would you not tell her she deserves better and to get out?
This spineless bloke is pushing you to end the relationship so that HE doesn't have to, because he can then get the sympathy vote and also be the "good guy". Do him a favour and tell him to sling his hook. Hopefully he will be man enough to stay involved in his daughter's life (legally he needs to contribute financially at least) so it will be best if you can stay civil towards each other. However, this does not include allowing yourself to be walked all over and used as a door mat.
Sending hugs. Be strong - for yourself and your daughter. Life will be so much better if you decide it can be.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 January 2018):
 It sounds like YOU don't really want HIM anymore either.
I think he is sabotaging the relationship in hopes that YOU will leave.
I think you two need to have a long talk and figure out what the next move it. Don't stay together in MISERY, I don't think that is beneficial for anyone, especially your daughter.
If he isn't willing to make time for you, how can you fix anything or build anything further? You can't.
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