A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi this is my problem me and my sex buddy (a guy) have been having sex for 5 months now i have feelings for him and he knows that he says he likes me to but im not really sure he does he,s been hurt and i also have been before we met the problem is i text him on monday gone and he sent me just a text with kisses on so i left it at that then he text me on tuesday saying how are you these days why didnt he text me back and why did he text me asking me that? im so confused as to whether he likes me or not or whether its just about sex for him any answers would be greatly appreciated thanks
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female
reader, tibob  +, writes (5 August 2011):
 There is one thing you should understand as a woman. In the long run, when a woman has sex with a man, she tends to develop feelings for the man. Women usually can't separate sex from emotions. You getting feelings for him, it was bound to happen. As for him, I think he feels satisfied with the kind of relationship he's having with you. You should speak to him and tell him that you can't go on having sex with him as it hurts you. If you continue like this, you will open yourself up to much hurt. Believe me, I've been in this situation before
A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (5 August 2011):
 I often think this is the potential problem with these kinds of arrangements. They are fine as long as both parties are clear what the state of play is and that's what they want. However, the chances of you developing feelings for somebody you share something intimate like sex with are always bound to be high; so, it's usually inevitable that at least one half of the equation becomes unhappy with the arrangement. Most people have a hard time separating sex from emotion (even lust is a form of attachment) and even if that emotional attachment is, at first, simply lust, as I say the chances are that can and will grow.
Given his stated baggage it makes sense that he would be shy of going further, indeed, his baggage is probably why he favoured such an arrangement in the first place. Luckily, in your case it looks likely he shares the same feelings. He is obviously, it seems to me, feeling the attachment getting closer and worrying over it, which explains the inconsistency in not replying then texting and asking how you are.
So, what is required is for one of you to be bold and state how you feel, roll the dice and see where it goes. Since, your the one here, I nominate you ;). I think you should basically just go for this one. Lay the cards on the table. Good luck, I hope it pans out for you. :)x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): Um, he's a SEX BUDDY. You said it yourself. Yes, he's in it for the sex.
Why is it that SO many woman start up these friends with benefits things and then develop feelings and don't understand why the bloke doesn't feel the same?
You agreed at the start this was a SEX ONLY kinda thing. If you can't handle that or want more, don't do them in the first place and stick to having proper relationships.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): well with a relationship of "sex buddy", it's quite normal for it all just to be about sex for him. otherwise it would be a relationship for you both.
Ask him his thoughts on what you have going at the minute. If he says its just about sex, then you need to choose whether that's what you really want.
If he returns the feelings, then happy days for you!
The only way to find out is to ask him
Good luck x
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