A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 and have pretty much fallen in love with a man 31 years older then me. He is all I think of all the time. I really need some help getting him off my mind as due to the fact that my parents (understandably) do not agree with me having casual sex with a man 6 years older then them.I met him on the Internet on a chat room which is generally the focus point for most people who slag him off, I used to go on loads of chat rooms and initiate conversations with older men as I have always always had a thing only for older men and this seemed the only way to go about flirting with older men even though I never in a million years thought I would ever meet with them in real life.I remember the very first conversation I had with him about long walks and how he kept saying are you sure you don't mind that I'm much older than you, which of course I didn't.We talked for over a year almost everyday and he even wanted to move to the city where i live before we'd met. One day he just said that this had probably gone too far, we hadn't even met and we had completely fallen for each other and seem as I didn't want to meet him things were getting painful for him and we should just end it. I reluctantly agreed, then about a week later I tried to ring him but it said he was busy, after a while it turned out we were trying to ring each other because we'd had a similar and intensely sexual dream. We agreed we should meet and so I turned up in his hotel room (he is a traveling consultant) and he was so nervous his hands were shaking and he kept saying that he didn't know if he would turn up or not, I told him I was glad he had and that I had ... Then I kissed him and felt him relax.After that evening he told me he was married! But separated. I am still worried that this isn't the case as when I asked him he got really mad at me and told me that he didn't want to talk to me for a while although I stressed the point that I had every right to know.Now we have we have been seeing each other for about a year and a half and I think he's my first love, he has told me he loves me once and I have never said it back. We have amazing sex and I really feel a connection and I know he does too.I just have two big issues, and many questions. I'm worried he is the typical travel consultant with a woman in every town! He isn't that good looking but he is tall and confident. I'm worried that he ha been lying to me from the start and that I don't really mean anything to him. I worry about this because after we've had sex he suddenly stops looking me in the eye and he dampens conversation and asks when im getting a taxi which can make me feel really low after he has spent the last 3 hours of sex telling me how beautiful and amazing I am and how much he misses me when im not there and how much I colour his life etc.Question 1) we know this relationship is finite we've said this from the beginning but I don't think I'm strong enough to end it, should i try anyway??Question 2) do you think he is being honest?Question 3) is there something wrong with me, I think grey hair and crows feet are the sexiest things ever.Question 4) is there something wrong with him to be attracted to me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2011): Being 18 how do u feel about being the other woman and a homewrecker.
This man is using u for sex. He is married. You know nothing about his real life.
Have u thought about STDs/AIDS. I am opretty sure he is hooking up with other young girls via the internet as well.
WHen do ugrow up and listen to yur conscious.
I dont blame your parents and others who have warned u about the internet fake. Now u just have to be adult enough to hear their concerns.
This man is a user, using u like a common call girl. He throws u away from getting sex from u. Enough said!
LoveGirl
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (5 August 2011):
 First of all, there is nothing wrong with you having a relationship with an older man. People are so stuck on the age thing, it's crazy. You are female, he is male, that happened to be attracted to each other. As long as you're both of age, age doesn't matter, unless it does to you.
The area that worried me was when he asks when you're getting a taxi. I don't know what to make of that. Really. If he there for the night, and isn't expecting anyone else, and wants to spend time with you, then what's the rush. I'd think he'd want you there for as long as he possibly can. I know when I want to be with someone, I'd squeeze every minute possible to be with that person.
I don't know about the married thing, but it does seem he's not looking much past the sex. If that's what you're looking for, stay, if you're looking for something more, you may want to rethink him as being your choice. Don't let what's happening with him discourage you into seeing all men as dishonest. Sometimes you have to find out for yourself, before you begin seeing signs of how to tell when someone is being truthful, and when they're not. We've all had to learn our lessons in that area, and it hurts when you do, but you learn from it.
I hope this helps. Keep your head up, there's a guy out there who'll love you for being you, and for no other reason. Take care.
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