A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think it most probably is my imagination, but I have to be sure that this teacher isn't showing interest in me, because I don't want to report him if it's nothing.So - when I first had him as my music teacher I really hated him, he was the short, balding man who although had a nice attitude was still in my bad books. Don't ask me why, I just...hated him. Eventually my disgust wore off, and I began to be friendly because I realised he wasn't weird just ugly. (I'm sorry, this happened a while ago - I'm not like this anymore, I don't judge people too soon on looks etc) Anyway, I don't find him attractive - and I'm not lying to you to try and see if he fancies me so I can make a move. I DON'T FANCY HIM and he's atleast 50! I think... :/ Anywho...they aren't the usual signs that a man shows when he likes a girl (again, not sure) so thats why I need advice on this. There is a student manager who I can go to if he does like me in the wrong way so I just need you guys to tell me:1) hmm...he always looks at me in class, up and down, up and down. It used to freak me out when I didn't like him, but now that we're friendly it doesn't bother me..well apart from now.2) Well, he just is....what can I say? Super nice to me. Joking, laughing, (forced laughing sometimes on my part :/ ) Letting me listen to music on his laptop. Buying me a cd...but that doesn't really count because I think he has a budget per student.3) He does somewhat...violent (I know that isn't the right word) acts towards me. Throwing bottle caps at me - I know, it's like he's turned from 50 to 5.Ugh -there's more but I can't explain it! It's a gut feeling you know? It's the samish sort of feeling I get when I know I'm just about to be asked out by a guy...you get what I mean? In a way I don't want him to get fired if he does fancy me but I know what I have to do if he does...tell a teacher and what not. It's a shame...but he might be a pervert and I can't let him get away with it IF he is. Do I need to tell you more? Tell me if I do and I'll sum up a few other things he's done OK? Thanks!
View related questions:
my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, baddest_chikk  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 well there is going to be a time where people think their teacher has feelings for them and most of them as well as u are WRONG.. it could be some flirting involved on his part but honestly honey nothing tht he would everr act on (especially if hes like 50) i think tht u are over reacting and creating an idea of something tht doesnt exist... there are some teachers tht are naturaly friendly should we assume tht they all have a crush on their students?? noo of course not tht would be crazy.. dont over look things to muchh.. its all in your headd..
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (10 February 2010):
If this guy was found to be attractive by you you would have no problem with him checking you out. Its a double standard. Get over yourself untill he makes a clear move on you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): "Hun quit being so narssisistic. This guy has done nothing to u. Has made no legitimate advances to you and the only reason u have an issue with anything is becuz u dnt find him attractive. If u found him attractive u wud be asking us if u shud make a move. Dnt risk this mans career just becuz he dsnt meet ur narssisistic standards......" I am so baffled by this attack. To the writer are you not the one having an affair with your married teacher. WHy are you attacking the OP.To the OP, doesn't matter whether this teacher has made any "moves" on you, or whether there is any merit in what you have saying - the only thing what matter is this: YOU are uncomfortable with him/ his behaviour. with this feeling all i can say is trust your gut amd be more observant and try not to be alone with him. be on your guard. you are uncomfortable/troubled and there is nothing wrong with this. just please be more observant and alert.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey - to 'Heart broken in love' why would I have a problem with him if I didn't think there WAS a problem?! And thanks to all others who have not been quite as....harsh. Especially kitty_3. Look, all I can say, is I asked this question because he was making me uneasy, and I needed ADVICE from people other than my parents who would absolutely disregard this. Ok? I feel hurt that you call me these things and that you only seemed to write in this because of your need to slap me on the back of the head. Well guess what - you achieved that. But you haven't helped me.
...............................
A
female
reader, kitty_3 +, writes (22 January 2010):
 i've known teachers that throw things (little things: piece of chalk, paper clips, etc.) and it's just for fun or to be playful, so that's not weird. but you should watch the looking you up and down because that sure seems like he's checking you out.
regardless, if he's making you feel uneasy-- heck, his behavior has caused you to ask this question!-- you should talk to the manager.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): going by the sounds of it, this isnt enough information for anything to happen. at the most, i think he could be informally (or possibly formally)cautioned for making you feel "uncomfortable" but thats all. ive been in a situation when the teacher WAS sleeping with students, so believe me, i know how awkward it can make you feel. you may well be right and he could possibly fancy you or like what he sees. i think the best thing to do is probably tell a teacher you completely trust.. dont put in a formal complaint, just say something about how you feel slightly uncomfortable with his behaviour towards you, and could they possibly keep an eye on him? the only problem with this is that im not sure how much you can tell a teacher without them having to tell another member of staff, as a rule of the law. if theres anything else, tell someone or write back in.. i would also say watch him carefully with other students! dont get paranoid and start misreading things, just be wary of his behaviour towards you and others. id definitely say mention it now rather than at a later point.. you dont want to be in the same situation that i knew 2 girls to be in. better to be safe than sorry! hope it goes ok.
...............................
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (22 January 2010):
Hun quit being so narssisistic. This guy has done nothing to u. Has made no legitimate advances to you and the only reason u have an issue with anything is becuz u dnt find him attractive. If u found him attractive u wud be asking us if u shud make a move. Dnt risk this mans career just becuz he dsnt meet ur narssisistic standards. Untill makes a legit pass at u u have no business hvng a problem with him
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): I think he might just be a bit eccentric.
Old school teachers DO throw stuff at you. They used to throw chalk, and if you were really messing up, they would cane your ass so bad.
Woe betide you if they preferred to use the Cricket bat.
Flynn 24
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 January 2010):
If there is more, tell us. He does sound like he's a bit weird, but as of yet he may not be a pervert. He might just be eccentric. What else is there?
...............................
|
