A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here's my situation....broke up with my ex over 5 years ago. I've dated a lot since then, but nothing even remotely serious. We've been hanging out again for a few months...I'm almost 30 and I realize that if I get involved now...it means long term committment and marriage which I'm fine with. I love hanging with her and spending time with her. We're both older now and no longer in college. I have a few issues still from the past with her that I'm trying to resolve. I guess my biggest question is...is this healthy to commit to someone after not being in anything serious in the 5 years in between while she recently got out of a 2 year relationship of her own? I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing. thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): I'm the original poster, but just wanted to say that SHE was the one who initiated this entire thing and has said MANY times that this is NOT a rebound thing. She is the one who wants ME to commit.
A
male
reader, Candleman +, writes (19 October 2009):
 I don't have enough information to make a complete analysis. Major red flags are coming through though.. 1. The biggest is that she just got out of a two year relationship. Even without a negative past w/ this woman, you are treading dangerous ground because she needs time to get over this relationship. Since you do have a past, and it seems like you got hurt, you're really playing w/ fire. 2. Is the reason you never got into another relationship in the past 5 years because of the issues that you went through w/ this woman? If yes, then there are more questions than answers. You really need to explore this facet of your life because you could have issues that need to be worked out in order to find happiness or contentment in your life. She could be the last person you want in your life right now especially since she could easily not be ready to commit to a relationship and instead of your life getting better, you end up worse. I highly suggest speaking to a therapist who can analyze these issues w/ you and help you understand more about what's going on in your life. Good Luck to you.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (19 October 2009):
 Take it slow. Give her time to heal and make sure you are not a rebound. When you feel she is ready and is over him then try. Don't rush.
Good Luck!
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