A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay so my boyfriend and i have been on and off for about a year now. he has and ex gf who he was with for a year but that was 2 years from now. we are living together at his moms and she still calls him and wants to hang out and normally he would say no. but last night we went to a party then came back to his moms and she called cause she was upset about something so i got mad and started cussing him out so he tld her to go ahead and come over. i literally cried for hours but he insists their just friends and he does not want her at all. which he probablly could have her if he really wanted so how can i tell if hes telling the truth about not wanting to be with her? thing is if i would have invited my ex to my moms house while he was there he would have called it quits
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (19 October 2009):
 By actions and not words...simple as that.
sounds like you have an idiot for a BF.
His actions are not of someone in a committed relationship. I'd be pissed if I were you as well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): I think your bf has been very disrespectful to you, and I don't blame you one bit for being upset with him. You have let him get away with way to much for too long. There's nothing wrong with exes getting together for coffee or lunch..occasionally. But it sounds like his ex is calling frequently and wants to hang out in the evenings. She needs to understand that you are his girlfriend now. Perhaps because you two were off and one for awhile, he has not made it clear to her that you two are living together and a couple. When he invited her over after you understandably got upset, that was childish and petty, and a slap in the face to you.Frankly, your bf doesn't sound like much of a catch. He doesn't seem very considerate of your feelings.(You said you cried for hours while he was hanging out with his ex!) And I really wonder about any man who lives with his mother but still invites his girlfriend to move in! If he cannot afford his own place, he has no business living with his girlfriend! That is so disrespectful to his mother -- and to you. I think he has a problem respecting women, period. And you should have more self-respect than to agree to this living situation. He sounds like a man-child who has a lot of growing up to do. If I were you, I would ditch him and focus on your own life...your own education and/or career. You need to live by yourself (or with a female roommate) so you can get to know who YOU are. As you accomplish things on your own, your self-esteem will grow and you won't tolerate such shoddy treatment from a man. Good luck. Live your life!!
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (19 October 2009):
 That is what is called trust. Either you trust him or you don't. Relationships can not survive without trust.
Though what you wrote here sounds like he doesn't want to get back together with him. He normally doesn't hang out with her and the one time he did was when you were cussing at him.
Now why would he have called it quits if it was reversed? Did you cheat on him with your ex? Did he cheat on his ex with you?
My advice to you is to stop cussing at him (I promise this will lead to problems.) and try to become closer to him. Maybe even try making friends with his ex. Hopefully things will work out for you and you will be able to trust him and relax.
Good Luck!
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