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Is it first love or not?

Tagged as: Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 August 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2007)
A female Philippines age 36-40, *aby_caridee writes:

When I was still in elementary, I have this GUY best friend. We are really buddies, we look out for each other and stuffs...

When I was already in high school, I've got this friend of mine, who has a crush on him and tried to break us apart. Unfortunately, we did. How? The girl gossiped about me having a crush on him, so he was already shy. We are still young too know what's good for both of us. He kept his distance from me, and I kept mine because I thought he doesn't want to see me anymore. That was when I realized I really do have a crush on him. I was just about 11 years old. Everytime we cross paths, he would move away from me. I can't understand him. Just because of a stupid lie. I think I fell in love with him...

So now, it's been almost 6 years since I transferred school. We didn't see each other for 6 years. I already have my boyfriend. But now, I saw him, I think I'm still in love with him... I don't know what to do. When I see him in pictures and in person, my knees feel weak and feels like I'm melting. But I don't know if he still knows me and afraid if he's gonna talk to me.

Please help. Don't know what to do. What should I do? My boyfriend and I are already in our 3 1/2 yrs. But I really can't hide my feelings for my best friend since elementary. Is it first love or not? What should I do???

View related questions: best friend, crush, fell in love, shy

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A male reader, leonard j.Douglas Philippines +, writes (4 August 2007):

Was it really first love or first infatuation? I went two years with a gf in JC. A brother sister thing,no sex,and those two years were the most unforgettable years of my life. I doubt that you can call how you felt about your past childhood friend, Love. I would see it as Late-Life- Infatuation, and nothing more than that. No you never really love your childhood friend, if you has. you would of fought tooth and nail to have kept him. Love is learned, not an infatuaton from one's childhood. And If you chuck you 31/2 year relationship, for an infatuation. Well, You don't know what Love is, and you would be some kind of a fool in my books.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007):

I think that if you are still having feelings for this guy after so many years, there is definitely something there. But don't be unfaithful to your boyfriend. If you feel like you want something to happen between you and your friend from elementary, start talking to him and hanging out with him again, and become good friends again. And once you are talking again, you can be more sure if there is still something there. And when and if the time comes that you want to be something more than friends, ask him how he feels about you, and tell him about your feelings. If he says he feels something more than friendship for you than great! But if not, maybe it isn't meant to be. If he says he wants something to happen between you both, explain to your boyfriend and break up with him if you feel that it is the right thing to do, and then you can truly be happy with your guy friend from school. I'm sure you'll make the right decision and good luck!

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A female reader, Emilie United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2007):

Emilie agony auntHey hun, it sounds like your in a bit of a muddle here. You will only really be able to tell if you love him by talking to him again. Guys can change alot in a short space of time and you might not like his personality. You and your boyfriend have been together for 3 1/2 years now and do you really want to give him up just because of a guy whos poped out of nowhere? Don't give up the one you love for the guy you have a crush on,because the guy you have a crush on can either work out OR dump you for the one he loves. Its a risky and tricky busines love. But please think before you take any chances. Get chatting to this old friend of youres and see if you like him just as much as you think you do. The rest is up to you hun. Good luck xxx

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