A
male
age
36-40,
*aogwan
writes:Is it possible to have been in one relationship with one person and just stay with that person? Or is it better to get'experienced' and then settle down?I am a lil confused, I have been with my gf for 1year and 2months, shes my first gf and im 21 which is a bit embarassing, shes the only girl ive ever been with and done anything with. We gave each other our virginity. However, she is has been with boys in the past and is more experienced,but I have been her longest relationship and I am her first love. And now we've been together for over a year i feel its time to think a lil bit more seriously. I do love her, but i am asking myself those questions stated in the first paragraph.I cant see myself with anybody else only thing that stops me thinking far ahead with my gf is her past even though she gave her virginity to me. Can someone help me please? thank you
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female
reader, hello1 +, writes (20 February 2008):
 I can understand but just think, if you really love this girl then your risking all this love just to go out and sleep with other people? You will miss her and your properly want her back, but will she take you back?
A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Hi...
Two basic things here: 1.Your time together should not define your relationship status, your feelings should! 2.Being "experienced" is overrated! Having your heart broken a couple of times or having sex with someone and feeling absolutely nothing is not that nice. The fact is, if you have a good relationship you should stick to it as this is the person you chose to share this last year with.
However, you are very young. Waiting a couple of years will do one of two things: 1.break your relationship (which will in turn give you your much wanted experience); 2.make your relationship stronger, in which case you wont have a doubt regarding next steps. There is no need to hurry that up just because you've been together for a year.
Regarding her past... thats what made her who she is, even if she had slept with 100 guys.
I wish you two the best of lucks and stop thinking the other grass is greener, its probably fake!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Hi
This is so sweet. Well, talking from experience, i'm 37 now. I met someone at 15, settled with him, lost my virginity with him, married him at 18. Split at 20. Got with someone else and had 2 kids with him, stayed with him for 9 yrs. He was my soul mate. Only the 2nd person i had 'been' with. But to be honest, at 29, i then felt i hadnt lived yet. We split, and for the last 7 yrs i have done my living. If i could meet my kids dad again now(well, someone very similar to him!) i would jump at the chance! He's a rare breed! (he's happily settled with someone and i dont believe in turning back the clock anyway, and we get on good which is good for the kids)
Basically, my kids are 12 and 11 now, and i only had this convo with my 11 yr old daughter today, but i wouldnt want either of them to 'settle down' in their 20's let alone their teens. I want them to experience life before they do that. Because i feel that if you dont do it early in life, 9 times out of 10, you will want to at some point! Causing major upheadal! Oh hindsight is a wonderful thing...
Where do you think mid life crisises come from?
Thats my point of view anyway hun.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Amy2007x +, writes (19 February 2008):
 im in the exact same position, i feel like i shoudl go out there and try the single life for a while and see how it is like as i have been with my bf for 2 and a half years, and im 17 cmon? but then i thin khow much i love my bf and how much i want to spend the rest of my life with him and the other things like sleepin with other people and kissing other people it jsut seem like a pathetic excuse and i jsut feel happier with him now.
x
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