A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:who thinks that the porn industry wrecks men's sex lives?who thinks porn and to much sexual images causes damage in erections? the reason im asking this question is because for many years i used to masterbate to porn ( 11 years to be exact) before i lost my virginity when ive finally lost it i sometimes find it difficult to keep an erection more than 5 -15 minutes without it continually going semi and i seem to only be able to get an erection from oral ,whether i have intercourse it doesnt last that long before it becoming semi,this might be something to do with the fact that when i have intercourse i cant acturally feel anything,this might also be to do with the condom partly. it might be because a lot of porn i looked at was oral so maybe thats why i get harder erections from that.but i do hate porn because i cant perform properly half the time because i cant cum from women because im used to my hand and also i can never get really turned on because ive seen to much porn,literally thousands of videos and images and loads of different types as well apart from iilegal ones,i dont watch that kinda crap,ive decided to not look at porn now or anything slightly porn like for a while because i believe this may help me get turned on by a normal woman,will this help me get a proper erection again? serious answers please
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condom, erection, lost my virginity, porn Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncool,do girls like dildos as well?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): After lots of attention to foreplay;
a man can bring his partner to orgasm with:
oral sex
mastrubation(manual)
the use of a vibrator
Explore and Enjoy!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat are the variety of methods a man can use to please women? Is it oral?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008):
Often, if a man has a fear of disappointing a woman, this can prevent him letting go during sex, becoming non –ejaculatory.
But remember, you can still give your partner complete satisfaction; intercourse is only one of the ways in which women can reach orgasm; a sexually fulfilled woman will very seldom be disappointed with her partners declining erection, if he skillfully makes up for this by using a variety of methods to satisfy her desires.
With therapy it is often suggested to RETURN TO COURTSHIP behavior, which is intimate without being too pressured.
Start RELAXING; enjoy and have FUN!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfair enough,im going to try and relax and not worry about it
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): "i supose in 6 months to a year ill be fine"...
Of course you will, as I've said you are very young and haven't been having intercourse for very long. Take some of the pressure of yourself, try to relax about sex and not worry so much. Sex is about fun, and it's difficult to relax if you worry too much about your performance. I hope that we have been able to reassure somewhat. I wish you well, and hope you update us in the future with some good news. Take care of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim mid 20s why do you ask? i was saying i believe that the porn industry may not exist in 20 years because if you have idiots like max hardcore and khan tusion in it eventually something seriously bad is going to happen to an actress and it will get shut down,its almost happened before, when traci lords was found out to be underage the government wanted to (unfairly ) bring down the porn industry making out there were perverts,when in fact there werent and traci lords had lied about her age with fake passport,another time was when there was the aids scare and also when there was the prostition accusations in the 80s.im just saying that max hardcore,khan tusion,rob black and similar people are silly because they give an excuse to the anti porn people because they are exactly what they say porn is about and as ive said it only takes one extreme act on film to go wrong and an actress ends up seriously injured or dead and the government will destroy the porn industry,maybe im wrong but thats what i believe,anyways back to my problems i think your right i just have to try anmd relax think calm thoughts and everyting will be ok,i supose in 6 months to a year ill be fine
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male
reader, CCC +, writes (23 June 2008):
'i cant help feeling the porn industry wont be around in another 20 years' May I ask how old you are? Porn will always be around and it will only get bigger and more varied. Porn = money. Being anxious and nervous is a problem of yours, it doesn't happen to everyone. Try deep breaths, get your circulation going. Try to breathe in unison with your girl.. it helps trust me. I have problems sometimes, but you just have to shrug it off and laugh about it. Don't get down about it, as you say.. it can't be helped. Its frustrating as hell, but just try to play it cool, as soon as you start relaxing about sex, it will become easier for you to maintain an erection.Play some nice music in the background to help you relax... light some candles, have some nice wine... whatever it is you do to relax, try doing that before and during sex. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think youve hit the nail on the head smiles it is a lot to do with anxiety i worry that im not pleasuring the girls enough,worry im not going to ejaculate for them and worry im going to go soft,the thing is i always start off fine with all girls but then when it starts to go down i worry and frantically try to get it back into an erection.but as ive said it is a lot to do with condoms because when i get oral i do not have this problem its just when i have intercoursea.as ive said i can usually last about 15 minutes its just latley its been bad,i suopose all i can do is try not to worry and then i should be ok,as ive said porn doesnt cause all men to have erection [problems but is one of the factors in mine.i cant help feeling the porn industry wont be around in another 20 years and it wont be because of people like me it'll because of max hardcore and khan tusion
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno offence lazyguy but i think you are rather rude,for your information i dont take drugs smoke and only ever drink rarely and even then i never get drunk,im not fat either.i think it is offensive to say that about someone you dont know,also i never mentioned ED.as ive stated im not blaming the porn industry for all mens erection problems,im just saying its the case for me,also i can hardly be blamed if i started looking at when i was 13 and there werent any girls about,im just saying thats whats fd me up and thankfully now i dont look at porn or masterbate anymore because for 2 reasons one because i find most porn boring and 2 because its screwing up my ability to porn.porn does sometimes screw guys sex lives,a lot of girls do say this,also how is it anyones fault if they have problems having sex unless they take drugs.it is not my fault and i am trying my best to help myself,it is also the lack of experience and been anxious and nervous they arent problems of mine either.and why do you think im so anti porn anyway?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): A lot have been said previous postings; I want to add this; maybe it can be of assistance.
The main emotions that cause loss of erection are: fear; guilt; and anxiety.
Other factors often playing apart: preoccupation with work, social or family problems;
Fatigue; failure to eat healthy; lack of exercise; sleep disruption; drugs; alcohol.
Often, if a man has a fear of disappointing a woman, this can prevent him letting go during sex, becoming non –ejaculatory.
But remember, you can still give your partner complete satisfaction; intercourse is only one of the ways in which women can reach orgasm; a sexually fulfilled woman will very seldom be disappointed with her partners declining erection, if he skillfully makes up for this by using a variety of methods to satisfy her desires.
With therapy it is often suggested to RETURN TO COURTSHIP behavior, which is intimate without being too pressured.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): I don't think a cock ring would work.... You may find that you become addicted to sex with it on, and then you'll be back here asking "I can't maintain an erection, is it because of the cock ring I've been using"....
I'm a woman, so I'm not really sure about your problem with masterbation. But you've had sex 17 times and only started having intercourse with women 4 months ago. That's really not long, and many men find that in the begining of sexual activity they can have all types of problems with their erection. I'm also concerned when you say that it bothers the "ladies", in 4 months you've had sex with more than one girl???!!! Maybe that's your problem, it dosen't matter if girl looks good and attractive to other people, maybe the women you've been sleeping with don't turn you on. Maybe you should stop all sexual activity untill you find that special girl who makes you feel good.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 I didn't say YOU had a slight problem because of ED, I said there was a problem with you blaming it on porn.
"who thinks that the porn industry wrecks men's sex lives?"
Even if it is your porn use that is to blame it is YOUR porn use that is to blame, nobody put a gun against your head and forced you to ruin your sex-life. (If that even happened)
I can't stand people who try to blame society for their lack of self-control.
Admit YOU got the problem and that YOU need to fix it and you are half-way there.
The answer is simple, take care of your health and stop using porn and most likely it will go away. If it doesn't you simply may have a medical condition, seek the aid of a doctor but that is not something you can blame anyone else for.
Now just a wild stab, but you CAN get an erection for some time, I also see no mention that it sometimes stays flat to begin with so I think that most likely you either get bored, forget to provide stimulation OR you are simply out of shape. Smoke, drink, drugs, fat, no excersise, they kill erections.
Work with that and stop blaming others.
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female
reader, supermum +, writes (22 June 2008):
 dont worry about the rude people. they obviously dont get any sex and therefore cant sympathise with you. relax and you will be fine... does your gf mind?i know i had a bf once with the same problem, and it was only when i told him it wasnt his fault and i still liked him that he relaxed and it was easier for himall the best
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno offence but i dont see it as a slight problem at all,i cant keep an erection longer enough as it should not be happening to someone in there 20s,it is expected when men are in there 60s and 70s but not of my age,its frustating for me and girls.so i would be grateful if people didnt make insulting remarks like that,how would you like it if you had my problem and everytime you had sex with a girl it you couldnt have intercourse,im not saying that porn does this to everyone and im not saying that these problems are always down to porn but with me they are because obviously if you start when your young your mind is starting to develop and if youve only ever done that for 11 years its going to screw up your brain when you get real girls.
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male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (22 June 2008):
Sure, blame porn.
Slight problem, countless other guys watch porn and don't have trouble.
Fix yourself, don't seek excuses.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionive tried doggy and cant ejaculate from that either,another bizarre problem i have is that sometimes i have the first part of an orgasm and feel like a should be ejaculating and then it stops because it feels over sensitive,its really werid obviously i am going to ejaculate sooner or later but i do hate condoms,im not sure if they cause other guys to go a bit soft as well,but unfortunately you have to use then but if it wasnt for stds and aids id not wear them,as ive said i can get good erections from oral so it may be partly to do with condoms,i havent masturbated or looked at porn for over a week now i do feel a bit frustated though,can you buy cock rings from sex shops though and how much are they?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): I had the exact same problem as you buddy. Stop watching porn... if you feel horny just think about your woman and focus on the things you want to do to her.
I couldn't ejaculate either... then we started having doggy sex and i couldn't control myself.
Luckily my girl is on the pill... I have big problems wearing condoms.. as I dont stay hard for long enough.
I don't know whether not masturbating for a month, is healthy for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Four months ago is not a very long time. From what you say, it does seem that your use of porn and your lack of experience with women may be causing your erection problem. I don't think you need a cock ring or any such other devices, like porn they may only make things worse for you. As you say, stopping porn use is a good first step. Stop all masterbation and stick to penetrative sex only. It may take a little while to retrain your body to understand that sex with a woman is slower and much more gentle, but you should be ok. Please contact us again if the advice we've given has not be helpful, but in the meantime take all our suggestions and put them into practice and see what works best for you. Good wishes and good luck to you. I wish you well.....
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female
reader, peace-and-love +, writes (21 June 2008):
Rubber bands might cut off the blood supply and damage your penis. Try buying a cock ring :)
Good luck - hope it works out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for everyones replys,i'll be honest in saying i only started having sex 4 months ago and ive only had sex 17 times since then so that might be something to do with it,but as some people have stated it is defintley the porn thats screwed me because i used to only be able to masterbate to that and now ive decided not to watch it anymore because i think thats whats caused the problems and also i cant get turned on by porn anymore because i find it boring,ive decided not to masterbate either because then when a girl does it to me i'll feel more eroused and also another problem i have is the girls i have sex with are NOT ugly there fit,so i dont know whats up,personally i think my body's been so used to my hand and porn that when i have real sex the brain kind of doesnt understand whats going on and also maybe the shock of having sex with a real girl is hard for my brain to adjust to,im probably talking rubbish but this is what a believe,i started masterbating at 13 so go figure what age i am now and that might be the reason,i know it might sound like some christian anti porn nonsense but porn acturally has f-d me up,to make it worse ive seen so many different types of porn and also it doesnt help when sometimes girls want to do porn type sex that just reminds me of porn,but one thing i have noticed i went a while without masterbating and looking at porn and i was fine apart from not been able to ejaculate.i have noticed that when i started looking at porn again and masterbating a lot when i started having sex my erections were awful so i think it might be to do with porn,please do say what you believe is wrong with me please and how i can be harder during intercourse,also ive heard you can tie elastic bands round the base of the penis and it helps erections is that true?
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female
reader, peace-and-love +, writes (21 June 2008):
stop looking at porn and masturbating completely. when you have sex concentrate on the girl you're having sex with and think about how beautiful she is. try not to think about porn and how you're scared of becoming soft and it should feel itself. but STOP looking at porn and don't masturbate - you've become accustomed to orgasming in that way and you'll have to 'learn' to stay erect normally. good luck :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): You are much too young to be having problems with sex, love..Yes, you probably have damaged your ability to be sexual without the mental stimulation of porn and the roughness of your hand.
Fortunately you can fix this as quickly as a month by completely abstaining form porn AND masterbation. I can't stress COMPLETELY, 100%, nada... enough, you need to give your brain chemicals a chance to come to natural balance and any intervention with masterbation will interrupt the healing process.
You can find the help you need and the answer to your questions at npsupport.net. There is a support board for men in the same situation and they will help you regain your sexuality.
Best of luck to you, this is not an easy road to go down and I am sorry you were victimized by this sexual industry that gives such empty promises of a better sex life only to hijack and imprison you in the end.
Too many people think that porn is harmless, there is reason it is called the crack of the internet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): You haven't provided enough information to answer. You used to like porn, now you hate it because it damaged your ability to have errections and give pleasure to a woman. It's hard to say if this is a problem with porn or your technique when your with a woman. You've used porn for 11years, how long have you been having sex with women. Have your previous partners complained, have they given you any indication about what may be lacking in your performance. Are you currently in a relationship, are you in love with the woman you are currently with? Do you find her attractive?
There are a hundred and one reasons why you maybe having problems with your errection. It's easy to pick the most obvious one and blame everything on that? Easy but not sensible, who knows you may have a medical problem that makes it hard for your penis to become errect for very long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni agree problem is i tend to lose my erection when i have intercourse even though i try to concentrate on there bodies,i get nervous and anxious worrying that im not going to stay hard
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male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Our bodies are constructed perfectly to be able to do what is nessesary in life. an erection is controlled by the olfactory in the brain. an emotion creats a chemical which causes you to feel aroused called dopamine , seratonin and endopinephrine. that would make hormones release and cause an erection. if your having problems with erections in fundimentaly comes down to your brain and your thoughts and your beliefs deep down in your unconcious. to simplify this for understand i will use an anology. remember a time when you have discovered a cut on your body but couldnt recall how it happened or when and you didnt even know you had cut yourself. but as soon as you realise that you are cut, you suddenly start to feel the sensation of the cut. its because the thought of cutting yourself wasnt generated at the time. so it didnt exsist in your own reality. because you are confirming and believing you have a problem that is caused by something like watching porn it is eatin you up inside and making you worry making the problem into something quite complex to do with your mind set. which would take some medicine and proffessional help to put right. but if you detatched yourself for a moment and just explore the meaning of your problem.
its a common thing to happen to males. so your just like everyone else. your penis is not performing at present. that is all. it was performing time ago so we cant expect our athletic youngness to last forever. you need to train it up again. use the power of your mind to rack your brain for ideas and thoughts and new approaches to stimulate those chemical reactions which are caused by emotion. so you need to visulise your goal. what would you like to achieve, start small and train your mind to put all its focus onto it and let it stay. and just imagine the problem drift away until it no longer bothers you. you may want to follow this advice when your in a really relaxed state of mind when your breathing is settles ect. jus think positively
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioninfortunally i cant make women cum because i cant stay harder enough
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): If you whack off too much you'll probably desensitize your skin down there. It should reverse gradually if you leave things alone.
This probably sounds like a bunch of bullshit, but just being out of shape and depressed will really hurt your sex drive too. Even when you're only in your 20s.
Get a good diet, exercise, low mental stress, and maintain that for a few months. Then get a hot girl underneath you after you haven't even jacked off for about a week. It's a pretty powerful combination.
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female
reader, supermum +, writes (21 June 2008):
maybe you should focus your attention on making the woman cum. hearing her may make it easier for you
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