A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I think I need some help.I'm a lonely 24 year old guy. I have a few close friends but thats about it.I want someone to love me though. I was with someone 8 years ago, but after that ended i haven't been with anyone.I have female friends and just when things seem to be heading in the relationship direction, nothing happens.Tke recently for instance, I have a very cose friend, Louise. We have been friends for a long time. Recently things started getting stronger between us and I thought it would develop into a relationship. Then one day, out of the blue she called me and told me that her ex had been in touch and they were getting together.Today another female friend of mine has cancelled on me (we were going for a bite to eat) wich is the third time she's cancelled on me in as many weeks.All I want is to be loved. Not too much to ask is it?
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (29 May 2011):
 you are still young, and you have got close friends so be thankful for these things. your female friends obviously see you as just a friend, very often people prefer not to upgrade a good friend to partner coz they don't want to ruin the friendship. get out and about with your male friends if you want to meet women to date. try not to worry about your female friend cancelling meets with you, that can happen to anyone, maybe she had genuine reasons for cancelling or maybe she is messing you about, just make sure you get on with your life with your other friends
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A
female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 No not too much and I agree with caringGuy , you need to be strong.Not that girls don't want emotionally weak guys but no1 wants that.To be in a relationship(at initial stage), one should know to take the risk, to put oneself in adventure knowing that it can hurt, trusting one knowing it can break.So you need to be strong off course. And don't ever try to choose one because you want to be loved or when you are lonely rather try to find one who can be a company at your good and bad times and never forget 2 b her company too likewise.The weak moments may cause you to choose wrong person,so make the moments strong and enjoy your life the most and better praise the freedom and lack of bonding which gives you an opportunity to take a nice glance at girls ;) .Better stay away from girls unless you find the right time and the most confidence in you.I am a girl so i know if i come to know sum guy just trying here and there for a girlfriend,I will run away from him(if he asks me for a date) no matter how much deserving he is.May be its not your case but keep in mind this 1.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): No of course you are not asking too much to be loved, that is what most people want, and I know sometimes it feels like everyone has someone, trust me when I tell you they haven't.
Your female friends, I would leave them as just that friends, get out there do things you like to do, and hopefully you will meet someone while living your life, don't put it on hold until you find someone to be with.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 May 2011):
No, it's not too much - but perhaps the problem is that either women sense you're feeling a bit insecure about it all, or perhaps you're picking the wrong women.
Dealing with the insecurity first, you do strike me as someone who might be giving off the vibe that you're feeling lonely, desperate for love and insecure about it. Men and women give off vibes when they feel insecure, and in turn other men and women can sense it and they naturally avoid it. If you're coming across as needy, lonely etc (and even from your short post, you do seem to be), then women will be wary of it. My own experience with women is that they do want a man who's strong enough with his own emotions that he won't drain her, or be too clingy/demanding etc.
I would say that you need to look at your life, and focus on yourself and building up your own emotional strength. Women won't fall over themselves for a man who says 'All I want is to be loved'. But women will take interest in a man who wants love, but is strong enough to lead his own life if he doesn't have it. You need to have 4 or 5 good hobbies that make you feel good. You need to have friends that are just friends, and not prospective girlfriends. You need to come across as a man who wants a woman, but doesn't need one. That way when a woman does come along, she will add to your life, not just complete it or become it. So before you look for another women, look at yourself and really work on your own insecurity. Have a life that a woman will fit comfortable into.
Secondly, your choice of women may be stumping you. You have female friends that you are trying to date. And you're doing it all too quickly. You have the close friend who seemed to be interested, but then went back to her ex. Then you have this other friend who has cancelled a few times. Problem? They are just friends. You're in the friend zone with them. What you need to do is meet totally new women, and rather then get into the friend zone, make attempts to date them instead. And pick one woman at a time - you're picking too many women who are already friends rather than one woman who you can get to know right from the start.
So, quit attempting to date for a while and build up your own life and get rid of the slight neediness. Then go out specifically to meet entirely new women, rather than friends.
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