A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Would you consider it an insult to be called " posh " ?. I am well mannered, intelligent, kind and caring, and i usually dress smartly. So, i think that's why this person called me " posh " once. I also don't usually swear , unless i'm really angry, dont smoke, and rarely drink. This person does swear a lot,drinks a lot, dresses casually all the time, and it seems like he knew some " rough " women before he met me. I didn't know whether he was trying to insult me by calling me " posh " though. I hope he didnt think that iwa stuck up, as i am actually a very modest person, who just happens to have had a strict upbringing, and i guess i was kind of spoiled when i was a child, but i don't think it has had a bad effect on me or anything. I do seem to be different to a lot of people i know. It's not like i have a lot of money though like a posh/rich person would have. I don't even live in a " posh " area !. What do you think ?.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 August 2011):
 Said by that kind of man ( semi- jobless drifter / moocher with no manners who drinks like a fish , swears and hangs out with rough types ) I am not so sure he meant it like a compliment , I think he meant it more like " stuck up " or " too high maintenance ". But, does it really matter what he meant ? Do you really care about this Neanderthal type guy's comments ? Oh dear. I am afraid so. " It's a shame he did not try to give it more of a chance ".No, it's a shame that you feel so, what's a nice - and posh- girl like you doing pining after a crusty old geezer like that ? Don't you think you deserve better ?
A
male
reader, eek +, writes (18 August 2011):
 as a man who also gets called posh. If i was you i would take it as a positive comment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): Thanks for your replies . They are all very helpful !. This was actually a guy i was seeing, who is actually old enough to be my dad. I didnt mind about the age gap though. I think personality is the most important thing. We aren't seeing each other now though. I remember once, he told me that he felt uncomfortable because i was really dressed up and he wasnt. He didnt actually tell me that he wanted to stop seeing me, he just stopped contacting me, and now i'm wondering if that could have been because he felt threatened, and maybe he felt like he wasnt good enough for me ?. He did call himself an s**t, when i bumped into him once, just before he stopped contacting me altogether, but i'm not sure why he said that.he was also upset over an arguement we had once, as, i get annoyed when people dont use their manners, Again, that comes from my ubringing, as i always had it drummed into me that ishould use my manners. My dad gets annoyed when people ont use their manners too, so i must get that from him. He said " are you trating me to a drink ? ", instead of saying " Would you mind getting me a drink ? " , " or " please would you buy me a drink " , and he said " she's paying for it " to the barmaid. At the time, i felt like he was taking advantage. I'm not sure if i was right to feel offended then or not, since i only bought him one drink, but i know it upset him, as he told a friend about it later, and soon after that, he stopped contacting me. He didnt have much money at the time, as he only worked 12 hours a week. But, just before he stopped contacting me, he got another job, which was a nightshift, so now he has two jobs, so he may have stopped contacting me because of that too. A couple of his friends told me that he told them that he thinks the world of me, which confused me, as i couldnt understand why he dumped me if he cared about me so much.
I do know that he only had two relationships before he met me. I'm not sure if he was completely single the rest of the time, or if he had flings or something. I didnt get chance to as him that. And i know that the woman he was seeing before me was rough. I dont know why he told me this, but he said she used to grab his private part in public !!. Charming lol !!. And i know of some other rough women he has hung around with.
I didnt really want him to feel like he wasnt good enough for me at the time, but i guess in some ways he isnt, especially with how much he drinks, and the swearing, and that he dumped me without telling me why. At first, he said he wanted to have a chat with me, but he didnt.
He did have some good points though, such as he had a good snse of humour, and bought me drinks when we were out, although, i didnt ask or expect him to.
I bumped into him once about a month after he stopped contacting me. He asked how i had been, and he asked who these two guys were that i was with, as he hadnt seen them before. They were my uncle and his friend. I'm wondering if he might have thought i was seeing one of them, and maybe he was jealous, or do you think he was just being friendly and was curious ?. He also said he would call me the next day but he didnt, and i havent seen him or tried to contact him since. What do you think about all that ?.
I dont know what i would do if i bumped into him again. I dont think that what he did was right, but if he really did care about me , its a shame he didnt try to give it more of a chance, even though he may have felt threatened because of me.
I had thought of other things that i wanted to add here, but i've forgot what the ywere lol. If i think of anything else, i'll post it here. Thanks for all your help ! :) .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): It's not a bad thing at all, whoever said that to you would probably love to be referred to as 'posh'.I've had it said to me a few times in the past, even from my mom and dad (who aren't posh). Even a couple of friends said it to me who I used to hang around with when I was 16. At 16, I took it as an insult because I felt different to the people I was surrounded by and I thought they actually said it to insult me. But the older I got, the more I realised it isn't an insult, I now take it as a compliment. I see the word 'posh', as the opposite to the word 'rough' and nobody wants to be referred to as a rough person.He could have thought a majority of things about you by saying you were posh. Perhaps he just thought you had a posh accent, your appearance looked posh (nicely, smartly dressed or look like you wear expensive clothes), thought you had a lot of money, or simply just thought you had nice manners.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): well good for you! if being everything you have just described is being posh then i would say that is good.
I think it depends on the way he said it as to Wether it's a compliment or an insult? what was your initial reaction to this? was it good or bad? i think that is probably a good indicator, to your question, as your feelings are just a trying to tell you something.
In all honesty though, you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks. I know, i know, this is easier said that done. Be proud of who you are and then you won't care what anyone else thinks
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (17 August 2011):
Don't worry about it. I have had that a few times and in my case people think I talk "posh" because I am not living where I was brought up and hence have a different accent from most people round here.
Don't worry about it. You sound like a nice, grounded person with common sense; I think it says more about this guy than about you if he equates lack of swearing, good manners and smart dress with being posh.
Don't change! You are just right as you are by the sound of it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 August 2011):
I think this guy was a bit threatened by you, and maybe he didn't feel good enough or something. I don't think it's an insult in this case, but merely something that reflects all those things you wrote in your post. He's a guy who swears a lot, drinks a lot, never dressed up and knows some rough women. You probably come across as someone who is out of his league, or someone he's never really interacted with.
The important thing is that you know you're happy with who you are. If he did set out to hurt you, he's not worth your time. If he's feeling threatened or whatever, he's also probably not worth your time.
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