A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was out the other night with a group of friends, we went to a restaurant to eat. Our waitress looked about my age and was fairly attractive, and I made a comment to my friends saying as much. My friend's girlfriend looked at me funny and made a comment saying that I should try to date women my own age. Puzzled, I asked her how old she thought I was. To my amazement she thought I was in my mid 30s (I am 22) and that she thought it was creepy for me to be interested in women in their early 20s. I've been thinking about it some more lately and I think other women have expressed that same kind of feeling towards me without saying it outright. Is it a turnoff to look older than you really are? Are women in my age range really not interested in dating me because they think I'm older than them?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): It is going to be hit and miss! Everyone different
A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (11 December 2010):
 If its just your hair, then go get just for men (super easy, 5 minutes, comb it in and you will still have a few gray hairs, but will give you more confidence). I like silver foxes, however I think on first impressions when I was younger I would have been a little stand-offish. I don't want to be the girl who brings a guy home that has more in common with my dad than me. I think huge age differences look ridiculous. So I am really careful about who I talk or flirt with when I think they are much older. I hope this helps. Trust me I have had to start dyeing my hair because silver strands start popping up like crazy.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (10 December 2010):
I'm a bit of an expert on this topic as I started getting gray hair at age 20. By my mid 20's I had a fair amount of gray. It was for this reason that I primarily dated older women, eventually marrying someone who was 28 when I was 23.
Now at 34 I'm basically all gray on the sides, and salt & pepper on top. Many, many people mistake me for 40+ based just on my hair. Being single again, I won't deny that for some women this is a major turnoff. Women who are in their late 20's sometimes think I'm creepy for hitting on them when in reality we're not far apart in years. I also won't deny that I've strongly considered coloring my hair so I'll look more like someone my actual age should.
However, don't distress. I've found that there's a bright side, as some women actually prefer an older looking man. Even with all of my gray hair, I have had a lot of success lately getting dates and phone numbers with women as young as 22. The best advice I can give is work with what you've got and change what you can. Be very conscious of your choices in clothing, shoes, accessories (a watch makes you look older for example, so don't wear one), etc. Even small things like the right body wash & cologne will indicate to women that you're not "old". Mind the little things and women will start coming your way, as they are very willing to overlook imperfections and care more about confidence & personality than anything else.
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A
female
reader, chita22  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 I agree w/Love is the answer but girls also don't like guys that still look like they're to young either maybe its the way u dress see whateverybody else is wearing or hairstyles it helps. Maybe u need to shave or get youyr eyebrows done nobody said looking good is easy but its worth it trust me!! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, loveistheanswer +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Well, if you do look that much older than your age, then yes unfortunately this can be a cause for why you may have been turned down... luckily there are plenty of things you can do to look younger including, the way you dress, cut your hair, act, etc. Also, if your skin looks older than your age ask yourself if there is more you could be doing to take care of it and keep it looking younger... such as diet, exercise, sunscreen, moisturizer, getting enough sleep, etc.
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