A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So lemme know if this is weird or not. My boyfriend has been serious/joking with me about if I we had kids, that he'd want to drink my breast milk from my boobs. I shudder at the thought, and I can only imagine the issues women have with their breasts and nipples while they are breastfeeding. I've told him its never going to happen and he got upset that it seemed unfair for me to deny him his request. I am open to him having a sample from a cup, but not fresh from the tap! Tell me if this is as weird as it sounds. Or perhaps this is a thing with some men and I didn't get the memo?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 July 2017):
 For me that would be strange and a big fat no. Maybe he has a fetish, but breast feeding is not sexual which it would be with a partner. I would stand my ground and say no.
A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (12 July 2017):
Another vote here for it only being a little weird as far as requests go, but his entitled attitude after you said no is a big red flag to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2017): I don't think it is weird. If you are producing milk for a baby/child and having relations with partner, then at some point they are going to get a little milk whether by design or not. Feeding a child is not a sexual thing. It can be very sweet and tender. Having a partner, you get use to exchanging body fluids. No big deal. Some women don't want their breasts touched when they are breastfeeding and that is okay, but a little shared milk not something to get grossed out about. I am assuming you are okay if he has cow's milk so why not human milk which was actually intended for humans? My family have tried my breastmilk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2017): It isn't wierd, so don't worry about that. Granted, not all men are into that- myself included- but it doesn't mean he's a freak. Of course, you should only do what you feel comfortable with, and as it's not even something that could happen in the very near future, who knows- one of you might feel differently about it when the time comes.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (10 July 2017):
 It's not perverted, but it's not common either - at least not verbalised. To each their own, but I would feel very uncomfortable with anyone telling me they breastfeed their partner, let alone my boyfriend asking for it!I think the problem you have is that your boyfriend isn't willing to accept that you don't want to. Trying to guilt trip you into it by saying it's not fair to "deny him" it, like it's some right of his, it manipulative. He asked, you offered a compromise and he is trying to coerce you into giving in.Breastfeeding should not be sexual. Licking/sucking a breast that isn't producing milk is one thing many enjoy, but a couple partaking in breastfeeding is turning a maternal thing sexual - like a mother giving birth and her partner decides to start doing sexual things.I think you should worry about how demanding your boyfriend is being, trying to make you feel like you're unfairly punishing him, when he should respect your feelings on it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 July 2017):
 My personal experience has been that some men are just fascinated by boobs and everything about them. Perhaps your boyfriend falls into that category? I have heard men fantasising about this sort of thing before.
I think the problem for most women is that, when they are breast feeding, it is absolutely NOT a sexual thing, but for men, when they are fantasising about being breast fed, it IS a sexual thing. When women have a young child they are feeding, their boobs are often sensitive and their hormones are often all over the place. The last thing most of them would want is an adult child latched onto their nipple, getting his jollies.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 July 2017):
 Is his request weird? I don't know, really. It's not one that makes me go EWWW (and I have breastfed 3 kids) but the issue is NOT about whether it's weird or not, it's whether it's something you would be comfortable with or not.
Personally? I wouldn't be OK with it. Feeding your kid straight from the boob is a non-sexual thing - pretending to"feed" a grown ass man... is a sexual thing. So for me (PERSONALLY) when there is milk in the boobs it's to feed the kiddo not please the man.
It's bad enough that people who can't/won't breastfeed freak out over women nursing in public, to then sexualize it? Nope, not for me.
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A
male
reader, rasblak  +, writes (9 July 2017):
@janniepeg's answer has got just about everything covered.
Maybe when he is saying "it's unfair to deny him his request" what he's protesting against is really that he's not a weirdo for having made that request.
You can simply explain to him that sure, _some_ men are into this kind of thing, and _some_ women more than wholeheartedly agree. He's one of those men; you just are not one of those women. Which still leaves plenty of room for mutual respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2017): What matters is, if it is weird to you? There's nothing like people unloading their unusual fetishes and freaky desires onto their unsuspecting mates. I take it you haven't known this guy all that long, or it would have come-up a long time ago. If otherwise, where out of blue did this come from?
First and foremost; I don't recommend getting pregnant by a "boyfriend" for no other purpose, but to produce breast-milk. The world has enough unattached drifting-fathers and struggling single-moms. Secondly, kids deserve the benefit
of two parents; just like at the time of conception. Guys with creepy or unusual sexual-desires usually don't last very long in demanding and committed family-situations. They aren't the best man-types to keep around kids; and you finally get too creeped-out to want him around YOU!
If you don't like the idea, be just as free to express your opposition to it as he was in dropping that bomb on you. If he cries and throws tantrums like a spoiled-baby, send him to his mommy.
Women shouldn't have to feel they have to submit to every god-forsaken freaky-deeky idea their men can come-up with. Hey, I'm all for experimentation and creativity in the bedroom.
But seriously, girlfriend?!!
If it becomes the catalyst of fights and arguments, send him packing. It's not for everybody, and he'd be competing with the kid. You're not a cow or a wet-nurse; and you can only produce but so much milk. How long will he expect you to keep lactating?
I know, the first thing that comes to mind is; he'll get it somewhere else, if he can't get it from me. It can be purchased online. It's risky and not pasteurized. It's not regulated like cow's or goat's milk. So no telling who it comes from, whats in their diet, or circulating in their bloodstream. To be considered if he does decide to seek it from some random lactating woman. It's a body fluid! Yes, HIV can be transmitted through breast-milk from an infected lactating woman!
Once you walk through that door, the list grows. Hit the breaks on it, sister. If he's too freaky for your taste, then reconsider whether he's a keeper.
Even if you got the memo, you don't have to comply with it.
To each his own, but the bedroom doesn't always have to be a freaky sideshow! Kinky is fun, then there's just "weird!"
Whatever you do in life from this time forward, do not go against what you feel is natural or compatible with your values. If you don't find mutual pleasure in something you are asked to do, don't do it. Forced acts become psychologically-traumatic. Often why people divorce or breakup.
He's a teardrop in an ocean of men, and he can be replaced. Compromise means everyone gets what they want. It's not just giving-in, or giving-up under pressure.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 July 2017):
 There is a breastfeeding fetish though not as common as the foot fetish. I think having fetishes are okay but not to the point of obsessing over them, feeling entitled to them and can't feel satisfied unless having them. His request is not weird but he should respect that you never want to do this. You may feel it's gross because only babies suck from the breast and therefore breastfeeding should never feel sexual. The sensation of being sucked can bring sexual arousal, to both partners. We are born out of sex and our sexual attitudes are subconsciously formed by our first interaction with our parents of the opposite sex, and then later our siblings of the opposite sex. However, we are all different individuals and have different preferences. You shouldn't be pressured to do what you are not comfortable doing.
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