A
male
age
30-35,
*learEyes
writes:So I read tons of stuff on here about girls being able to go for round after round of sex, and Its left me with a lot of questions.My girlfriend and I have, from what I can see, a very good sex life. Though we are both in high school, we do it about 3-4 times per week, I really care about her pleasure, and spend all the time nessecary on foreplay and such in an attempt to get her off before the real thing even starts. All told, this usually takes about 45 minutes+ 30 if I rush it. She claims she loves it, she has all the anatomical signs of an orgasm about 75% of the time, and cant get enough of me while the act is going on, but afterwords, she is "sensitive" and uncomfortable in her nether regions and really can't go again for at least a few hours. This poses a problem because most of out intimate time is when my parents are out or away, so I always need her to leave before they get home (theres a rule in my household about girls in the house alone). So its like a 3-4 hour window most of the time.Is her "discomfort" an excuse for simply not wanting more. She never has qualms about doing it, I'm not particularly large, (6x1.75) and i don't see any reason why shes in pain afterwords. We are each other's first partners, both 17 years old.Am i not good and she doesn't enjoy it? or is there actually a recovery period that girls need.Note: I do get pretty intense with the fingering, but she enjoys it, same with certain positions, not sure if this is a big deal or not.
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fingering, foreplay, orgasm, period, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (9 March 2011):
ClearEyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help. I was just over-thinking it, as is my tendency with just about everything else in life. You guys are great and reassuring, as always.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): In reference to what you said, yes, women can be a good sport if their partners want to keep going a little while afterwards, but usually we do it for his benefit, not for ours.
When you're older and you have the space, means, and time, I have a feeling you'll probably be a big fan of the Saturday/Sunday morning "sleeping-sexing in." It's a favorite of mine to alternate between sex and napping. You recharge faster that way.
Don't worry and don't put so much pressure on yourself. You're smart, perceptive, and you're attentive to her. At this point, that's all you have to be.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (8 March 2011):
 "She's been a sport about it a few times and been able to do it about 25 minuets afterwords, but she said it was "a bit" uncomfortable, not unbearable, but not like the first time at least."
For your own sake, stop looking at this like an equation. Stop timing your sexual activities and stop expecting your girlfriend to conform to statistical data. Not only is it totally NOT sexy, but if you don't, your girlfriend WILL begin to feel the pressure of your expectations and that could potentially make her feel subconsciously nervous or even resentful. It's important to leave time out of the picture; once your girlfriend realizes you've been timing everything she might feel anxious to orgasm quicker. Even subtle emotional disturbances like feeling pressured, resentful, nervous, anxious, uncomfortable and so forth can prevent a woman from orgasming at all, and once a woman loses her groove, it can take her a while to get it back. So don't screw this up! When it comes to sex, your girlfriend should not have to 'be a sport' about anything. If it's not comfortable for her, you should stop.
Everyone is different; your girlfriend is trying to tell you something YOU need to know about her body. You're lucky she communicates because many women don't. I also think everyone here has given you great and fairly exhaustive advice. Try not to take sex too seriously. You said the most important thing yourself: "My girlfriend and I have, from what I can see, a very good sex life." Try to relax and just enjoy!
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A
female
reader, LustyLisa +, writes (8 March 2011):
OK cleareyes, let me explain something to you about "round two". This is a technique that older and more experienced lovers learn to do over time and most men, require a refractory period themselves in order to achieve another erection for another round anyway. Genitals require engorgement of blood in the genital region and a great deal of stimulation to bring about orgasm. In order to attempt additional rounds, more intense stimulation is often required which often lends to the male being able to last longer in the 2nd or even 3rd rounds.
Have you ever thought that the bragging people do in what you've been reading is boastfull exagerations? Do they actually tell you that repeated sexual rounds occure within seconds or minutes following ejaculation/orgasm? It sounds to me that you are buying into potentialy damaging sterotypes. You are both still very young and have plenty of time to learn the more advanced lovemaking techniques when you don't have time restraints and worries on your mind.
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A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (8 March 2011):
ClearEyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd I'm not sure if here recovery time is hours to be honest.She's been a sport about it a few times and been able to do it about 25 minuets afterwords, but she said it was "a bit" uncomfortable, not unbearable, but not like the first time at least.
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A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (8 March 2011):
ClearEyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts not that I mistrust her its just that we're each other's firsts so there is nothing to compare to. She didn't know what an orgasm felt like going in, I didn't know where the clitoris was, its just kind of a learning curve.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 Yes, is pretty normal being hypersensitive in your " nether regions " after orgams. I must say that generally it does not take " a few hours " for the discomfort to go away , the recovery time as far as I know is shorter.but maybe she is different- all woman differ sexually from each other- or maybe, you want to try to be less intense and energetic in your approach. Strong pressure/strong friction may feel very good in the moment, but afterwards,...ouch.
What I find interesting , though, is the very fact that you are asking this question. Do you mistrust your girlfriend ? Why ? If she says she enjoys it, she can't get enough of you, and she says that after she needs a pause... why should see / would she lie ? Why do you have the feeling she is making excuses ?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 March 2011):
 It doesn't sound like anything is wrong. It sounds like she's orgasmed and is done/hypersensitive. Not all women are capable of multiple orgasms from sex. The fact that she even has an orgasm from sex is great. Multiple orgasms usually happen very quickly, one after the other. Not one, then five minutes, then another happens. It's very typical to feel hypersensitive right after (I'm sure you feel this as well at least occasionally). Nothing is wrong, it sounds like you two have a great sex life.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (8 March 2011):
NO, your girlfriend is not faking. This is very common. After I orgasm I almost can't handle being touched, fondled, stroked, licked, whatever, pretty much anywhere. It's just too sensitive and ticklish, and sometimes painful. You might sometimes notice your girlfriend's body will continue to jerk and writhe at your touch even after her first orgasm, and you might think that means she's enjoying the attention (multi-orgasmic) and lying if she says she's not. But if she says she's not, she's not. Those spasms that look like mini-orgasms are actually involuntary spasms because of overstimulated nerves, and they are rather uncomfortable. Also keep in mind that if you're playing with her nether regions for half an hour, lube or not, that's a lot of friction, and it can make her sore. Furthermore, if your girlfriend's on the pill that will inhibit her ability to lubricate naturally and can lead to irritation and discomfort, so that's a consideration also. I'm glad you're being a responsible and caring lover to your girlfriend, both with the foreplay and by caring enough to ask this question. Don't take what you read on the net too seriously; a lot of these guides and how to's are 'best case' scenarios and don't reflect what actually happens in bed the vast majority of the time. The only information relevant to you is what your girlfriend has to say. It sounds like you guys have a great sex life as is; trust what your girlfriend says and just enjoy the time you do have together! :)
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A
female
reader, lemonyliz +, writes (8 March 2011):
It's normal, especially if you are her first. I would say that if you want it to last longer/have a shorter recovery period, steer away from over stimulating the clitoris because that is most likely the area that is most sore and I think guys can often get a bit too aggressive with it when trying to make a girl cum. Also, if she starts getting dry toward the end or is too dry when you start, that can cause some discomfort.But in general, yeah, a lot of women need a recovery period the same way men do, and to make it last longer, maybe focus on other erogenous zones pre-her finishing and after. If she can have G-spot orgasms, try doing that first before getting to a clitoral orgasm etc. etc. Don't stress about it, if she is still wanting to sleep with you, you must be doing something right.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): I haven't taken a survey, but I think the after sex-phenomenon your girlfriend described is pretty common.
I don't doubt that there are multi-orgasmic woman out there...I admit I'm jealous, but I haven't figured out how to make my body work that way yet.
In short, yes, after orgasm, some women tend to be extra-sensitive and aren't up for "round two" immediately... even if you try to warm them up. It's unpleasant and can be painful to be touched there and they might need a recharge period.
The only analogy I can give to this sensation is that it's sort of like enjoying a very hot cup of tea. It's great to drink in the moment, but after you're finsihed, you realize your throat might be a bit raw, your tongue might be burnt and over sensitive and even though you just thoroughly enjoyed that last cup of tea, you couldn't think of taking another.
Not sure if that analogy makes sense to you...I just want to weigh in and say I don't think your girlfriend is making excuses at all. Since you seem to be a clockwatcher, why not settle for quality over frequency? Take your time, have fun. I've heard my female friends describing a mind blowing orgasm....I have yet to have a friend count how many times she came in the space of 3 hours.
Good luck.
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