A
female
age
41-50,
*obme
writes:I probabaly know the answers here but need some validation from others as well. I was seeing a member of management at my job at the beginning of this year.Well, the people at our work started huge allegations about him and I so we stopped immediately as we didnt want to lose our jobs. Not that we could've been fired but wanted the drama to end on us. Well, now that the drama has been over for months, he has been starting to come around me more. Teasing me, talking to me, and had stepped up hugely when I had a serious issue this week at work. He made sure that nothing happened as my ex husband and his girlfriend bombarded me at work. He kicked them out and called police. I now have a restraining order against my ex too.The problem I am having is that I miss being with this man from work. We were seriously close and we were each others rock in a lot of ways. He had told me as the drama started about him and I that we had to lay low and stop and then start back up again when the problems were gone. I have seen him watching me, asking about me in some ways and letting me know he still knows a lot about me and who I am.Is he trying to get us back in a relationship or am I just wishing we were back together? He gives me compliments a lot lately and I smile back. Fighting telling or asking him what we are doing..
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at work, my ex, teasing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tobme +, writes (8 November 2007):
tobme is verified as being by the original poster of the question UPDATE!! Ok, so I have decided to let fate take its course and make me more happy in other areas of my life and today I was bumming around on myspace looking at my closest ex coworkers page and her and I talk ALOT on there and on the phone!! Well, needless to say I seen today that my boss(the guy I was all talking about) and her are now myspace friends and have added eachother on their friends lists!! A SHOCK!! Hell he wouldnt respond to my messages and adds her..weird. He even gave me excuses on why he hadnt responded to my online messages too..I backed off and trying to move on! WTF? I am soo lost and wondering if he didnt add her to dig on my life? its weird!!
A
female
reader, tobme +, writes (5 November 2007):
tobme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had a dinner out with him and our dept for a contest win back 4 months ago. The dinner he bought 7 of us to treat us for the win in our dept.Great eats and nice conversation between me and the other coworkers and occasionally him too.Afterwards him and I were smoking outside and talking and waiting for the others to start to leave.My fellow coworker noticed him staring at me the whole time we were all talking outside and she said, "he is still wanting you,damn I could see that as he stared at you out here all nite!" We glanced at each other as we left separately.He gave me a slight smile and a "sorry" look like we couldn't hug or anything.I just sighed and walked away..
He said too out there last nite that he does do everything he says and was looking right at me.He was talking about treating us for a job well done.I know he is good on his words as 6 months back when all hell broke loose at our job on him and I, he warned me we weren't done and I would notice him slowly coming back.With all the little hints and him staring at me to the point that if I have a eyelash on my face he will get it.He had told me that day, "you will know whats happening slowly and it will be at the end of this year as too many people will not notice you and I again because of the holidays." Yep I think he is letting me know and this time doing things on a low level.
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A
female
reader, tobme +, writes (30 October 2007):
tobme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know now that his job is in fact in trouble as our work has not hit budget since Feb of this year and he is 2nd in line there.That does explain alot to me now as I learned this. He has been under major stress there and I think why he is laying low to me but deffinetly letting me know he is still wanting to be in my life.Yeah is he leaves my job we can date just like everyone else!!I would do that in a heartbeat! I am going to let him lead me as I think he is doing right now and not worry or obsess on why he is acting this way.I know the attraction and him and I wanting to be together has not stopped we just have pushed forward.To make it even better on Sunday he is taking all of my department out to dinner as my department has won the contest he offered on our financing there.Untill I get validation on him and I.. I am just going to work like nothing is wrong and act like whatever.This is one of my most complicated situations of my life!! Sucks how life can be so hard.
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A
female
reader, tobme +, writes (29 October 2007):
tobme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOn a upadte of sorts I have a hard time with this as I see him more and more aorund me and asking about my kids and protecting me alot yesterday at work. I am confused in why he is doing this so on myspace I messaged him just a note.All I said was hi..., I guess we will see if he responds back or not and I will get my answers. He is on vacation from our job all week so maybe I can get answers.I do like him alot and him and I are alot alike and that scares me because of where and how we met.After the holidays I am going out with resumes in hand and finding a new job.Even if him and I arent together I need to move on to a new job so we could start or I could move on. :)
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (27 October 2007):
 I think maybe a bit of both, but you need to look at the professional ethics around dating a member of management. Many companies have rules preventing management to have non business relationships with employees.
In the United States, it also violates Department of Employment laws. Reason being, to prevent favoritism in the workplace. Its gotten to the level where someone at works claims you'd be favored over them. As soon as their aware of this sort of relationship, nothing you could say would prove innocence over guilt. They would have a case just because you're in that relationship.
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A
male
reader, xLamentedxAmourx +, writes (27 October 2007):
 He just wants to let you know he still has you on his mind, and wants the relationship to still be there. If the problems are going down, maybe he is hinting to start it back up again. Either way, it is your decision that counts.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (27 October 2007):
 Work romance, no fun. Be aware that in the US if he is a member of management that anyone can file a harrassment suit against him for seeing you. They could be offended by his actions, or feel he is playing favorites with you, etc. It doesn't take much these days for a law suit. If he quit the romance because of the "talk" and if you now get back together only to end down the road because of the "talk" coming back is this really something you want to go round and round with emotionally? My guess is that he does miss you too and that is why he's coming around again. This I do know though is that no matter how careful you are at work, your co-workers can tell something is going on just by the way you look at each other and by your body language. This is a tough one and only you and he can determine how much risk you want to take. Good luck to you. It's hard to find someone decent and it does seem that work is a good place to find that someone special. You have a tough situation though with him being in management.
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