A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey i recently met a guy who was on a reality tv show in the uk, and had his '15 minutes of fame'.I didnt watch the show and so just saw him as a normal guy.He took me for a meal and we had a lovely first date, then i saw him everyday for a bout a week, and the next couple of weeks saw quite a lot of eachother.He kept saying he had been looking for a gil like me for ages, he hadnt dated for a year, as all the girls he had been meeting were 'superficial'.For the first few weeks i was really happy, he kept saying i was amazing and to be fair i believed him.Then we slept together and afterwards he said 'i want you to be my girlfriend', i just smiled and said urm ok. The next day he hadnt text me so i said 'i dont know what you want' he said 'are you crazy?i told you i wanted you to be my girlfriend', so i said'now?' and he said 'no, i wasnt asking you-i just meant in the future!'I came home down south for christmas and I feel like he has been really hot and cold since but when i ask him or im a bit off with him, he just keeps saying he only wants me. He lives with his ex-girlfriend and shes his 'best mate' which i find a bit weird..also his facebook status is still single.Do you think he is taking me for a ride?When i try and play it cool with him he says he doesnt understand me!??Pleeeeeeeeeeeease help!i dont want to get hurt (another thing he always says is'id never hurt you, i feel too much for you)x x x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
Living with an ex girlfriend means he either hasn't got over her, or she's not really his ex. Yes, he is taking you for a ride and using you. Move on.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Simple answer: Yes he is taking you for a ride and it is best to leave this one alone!
I mean come on, who would say I want you to be my girlfriend but not right now, just in the future?! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!
You say you slept with him - well then I think he got what he wanted from you and now there is no reason why he is interested anymore. sorry if that sounds harsh but it is pretty common in men these days - they act all interested and you think you have something special, but really once they have got what they want (i.e. sex) then they completely lose interest.
If he is living with his ex then chances are he is not over her and you were just a bit of fun on the side while things are still not working with his ex.
I think you should just end it with this guy, it is not even worth trying to talk to him about it because of the ex still being involved - as long as he is living with her then he wont be ready for another relationship. Just tell him that you are looking for a real relationship and you wouldnt be happy with his living arrangements if you were his girlfriend so it is best if you stop seeing each other. He cant really argue with that and he cant claim you are being weird, you are just being honest.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Yes he is. He lives with his ex-girlfriend, considers himself single, and is, by all accounts, milking his 15 minutes of fame. I'm surprised you can hear yourself think over all the alarm bells ringing.
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