A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it a good way to Confront my partner if I suspect her of Cheating ? I am not sure. Trust Level is sliding...Asking her on those lines would be like giving up Trust and Confidence, that took years to build. (Denial is expected)Not asking her would Risk being Cheated, Living in a Pathetic State. Which might eventually lead to a Break Up that I have no control of. Something that I could, should, would have taken that Initiative. Precious Time is wasted as it was foreseeable.Is that because of my own insecurity? Assumptions-only? But having the picture in my mind of her being with another guy ensures depression.What is the better mental approach to deal with this delicate Challenge? Pretend nothing happened? It just prolongs the Agony. Ignore it? Its Pathetic... to even think / not-think about. Re-adjust myself? Making myself Feel Comfortably Positive is possible, consulting a shrink, but isnt that sweeping-under-carpet.What does a Mentally Healthy Person do? I am not mad, but I guess I might be emotionally distracted to do the right thing.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Remember that generally speaking women can out manipulate men - that bit of their brain is just better developed than ours - so if you confront her based on your gut feel or suspicions YOU are the one who is going to come out of it looking bad. However, unless she is some kind of super spy you can get hard evidence pretty easily so long as you are prepared to be a little unethical.
I had a situation two years ago in which I had an uneasy feeling about a mistress cheating on me. I challenged her about it and the conversation ended with me apologising to her for doubting her and then me buying her a car to say sorry. My suspicions returned and I went a different route and went to her with a 90 minute CD recording of her having sex with someone else and his name and address, place of work, his fiancee's name and address together with that of her parents. I also had the mobile phone numbers of everyone she knew. This time the discussion was briefer and I got the car back.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
You need proof before anything else. What is it that is leading you to suspect she is cheating? And how can you prove it?
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (4 January 2010):
A rational person would wait until they have proof before confronting. Investigate, set a trap, hide dictaphone in her car, get phone records; whatever gets you the truth. It just might be you being suspicious but then again you have your gut instincts telling you there is something. Don't destroy a good relationship by saying something without proof. If there is no proof then you may have to let it go and work on yourself quietly. All the best.
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