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*ordan123
writes:I have had a couple of questions with some really fantastic answers which have been really helpful, with a difficult relationship there are a lot of questions which spring to mind, I've just had lunch with my partner of four years, he consistantly brings up the fact o keep forgetting to sew his trousers/buttons etc. I keep rinsing that if that's the only problem we have then we're fantastic! Is he picking fights because he doesn't want to be here? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): Sounds to me like your fed up with him.
His moods are childish but he's after attention it's what kids do 'look at me' 'what about me'!
You do have a busy life with all the demands put on you by family and friends so maybe just say you want to cut back on time with him for a while. Understandably all you want is an easy going happy life and at the moment he's not giving you that
Do you have quality time for him is he part of all the plans you have to make and do?
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reader, jordan123 +, writes (30 June 2011):
jordan123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we had the buttons/sewing night then last night we had 'I should have got the keys cut' night, Im bored and dont know quite what to do about futile arguments. I dont actually want to be with him in the evenings if he cant sort his mediocre rows out, is that hard? I have two grown up children, two grandchildren and I have been busy with 1st birthday parties, friends daughters 21st, one day after the other, is it that he feels neglected, I cant get my head around this. I have lost a partner to suicide, been through a divorce, daughters serious illness, I spend more time dealing with this mans moods than anything else, how can I get him to relax and enjoy being alive? I love him but if life carries on being like this, and it does crop up a lot, then Im struggling being here. thanks everybody for replies, it so helps! x
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 You are his girlfriend,not his mum. Why does he expect you to take care of his buttons ? Nothing wrong with doing occasionally a favour to your mate if he's tired or busy, sewing back his buttons or shining his shoes etc.But if he DEMANDS someone else routinely do these things for him, he should move to a hotel,or hire a maid.
What's wrong in this relationship is not the bad service, or the arguments- it' s the expectations.
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reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Here's a thought; why not sew the buttons on his pants? Apprently it's a big thing. Maybe he's old fashioned and he needs to feel "taken care of" in this way. If he finds other things to complain about, try accomodating each complaint (for awhile) if he keeps moving the target you'll know he's just unhappy and taking it out on you. If he finally shuts up, problem solved. He just needed to feel you were there for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): sorry i havent got any real answers about why he brings up arguments with you.. but if i were you, i'd give him a thread, needle, button and trousers and tell him if your service isnt good enough then he can do it himselfsorry to be so blunt! but this is 2011 not 1811 ! your his partner, his equal.. not his long suffering wife or even his mother! I was married to a bullish man who had bi-polar and after 24 yrs of being married to a bully i will never be spoken to like that ever again! If you haven't had time or whatever your reasons...then he should be quite capable to sort his own sewing out. Failing that he should ask nicely and understand that you've been a bit busy/forgetful.. or whatever the reasons! again i'm sorry but someone causing arguments over something they put upon you not being done to their expectations makes me cross. You have the right to refuse, without repercussions if your too busy/unable to do the job etc! and also the right to be asked with respect about the jobs he puts upon you! remember your his equal.. his partner... not his mother!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): It sounds like he feels a bit neglected and you sewing his stuff for him will show him you care..Tell him he can watch you doing it so he knows how to do it himself next time
Its not wanting out, it's just a man wanting to be looked after
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reader, Drew21  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 You've been together for 4 years. You're bound to kind of grate on each other and argue a bit.How long has he been harping on trousers/buttons?What i would do is sew them, and then tell him "alright, then, our relationship is perfect now." or something like that (and my wife would probably be unimpressed, but that's my style.)Fights happen in relationships. Especially when you get into a longer one.I don't think i'd read that he wants OUT from that.
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