A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so here is my dilemma.I am 33, I am ok looking, not ugly and some may say pretty, but not anything special just your average girl in the looks department. I would say a 5/6 out of 10.I have happened to meet a man who is 30 and who is drop dead gorgeous. He is tall, muscly and a model for swimwear. I am not kidding, I don’t exactly know how I bagged him, when I show people his pic, they are like WOW! When we are in the street women stare at him … We meet in a club on holiday and one thing led to another and we started seeing each other.Now he has told me he doesn’t want a relationship with me and said this from the start and I accept this and let’s be honest he is far too good for me. He has an amazing job and he has own stunning house and his life is perfect.. My life is average. Like the rest of me. I have a nice flat that I rent with 2 friends and I am going to look at buying own flat next year (as so expensive to buy) I have an ok job in advertising, on about 28,000 pounds a year (half of what he earns) and my life plods along. I am nothing special.I would like to meet someone and settle down, but I never met those sort of men… I am drawn to twats.Anyway.. the issues I am having are as follows.It transpires that he doesn’t want a relationship with ME, as he is very honest and admits I am not his ideal women in anyway. He says that I am about a 6/10 in looks and he finds me quite pretty, but he has always wanted to be with a super super thin tall model type as he is suited to that (which he is) and whilst he tells me everything under the sun, all his dark little secrets, it’s because he doesn’t want to be with me that he does this. He won’t let me meet his friends or anything like that. Now I know him and do not think he was being mean, rather truthful and open. Wasn’t said with any harm or malice and the sole reason is that he doesn’t want me. I am walking away, before all of you turn around and tell me to leave haha! I know I have too.His also starting a new job next week and it is a big media company with 700 women across the company and has freely admitted he wants to date/hopes to meet his dream women there and I am certain that he will and I will be forgotten once he does.The problem is my confidence has now gone. I feel dreadful. I was always a confident person before, but now I feel like I am ugly.Many thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): He may be gorgeous but he sounds like a creep who has no respect for women, and he has you thinking that your not good enough for him, like hes brain washed you into thinking that he is at the top of the table and he cant settle with someone who's just average.
Stop this now !! You are better than him, he does not deserve you and most women prefer an average guy with a personality and respect than a stunner on an ego trip.
If you keep telling yourself that your no good then you are heading for depression, work on your confidence and self esteem and do things that make you feel good about yourself and ditch this low life you are worth way more than him, you just need to believe that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): What a prat he sounds and clearly he has issues with himself as he only feels better by berating you
There's nothing wrong with you personally, its just one persons warped view of you, now your single get yourself out there again. Every day look in the mirror and tell yourself your beautiful inside and out and worthy of any mans love - I doubt that guy will ever be happy - but you will
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011):
This man sounds like a very ugly person to me. Sometimes the people who are most beautiful outside are the ugliest people inside. Your first step to self respect is to break all contact with this jerk. The next step is to go out and meet an average looking guy who will treat you right.
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A
female
reader, RainyJune +, writes (28 June 2011):
This guy has found a good honest woman but still wants to keep his options open because he thinks the grass is greener. He doesnt care if you walk away because he knows he wont be lonely for long. You are far, far better than this. All this talk about you being nothing special and average is a wrong!! You need to build up your self confidence, men like this bloke prey on woman with low self confidence because it massages their already swollen ego's. You deserve far better, please walk away and let him get on with his shallow life. A good man wouldn't have you on his arm regardless of who he is with because he will want you to share his life, not just be a little part of it when it takes his fancy.God I hate men like them, really do get rid of him and appreciate the person you are more, there will be many lovely guys out there that will WANT you to be the center of their universe.Good luck xx
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 My sister dated someone like this. He told her straight up the only reason he was with her was because he couldn't currently get anyone else, and the minute he found something else he would leave her.She didn't buy into it, and stayed with him and wound up entirely messed up.We're probably about 8 years later now and she still hasn't recovered.My question to you is: Do you really think a guy with that sort of attitude is going to be able to maintain ANY kind of relationship with someone who actually has an ounce of self-respect?Guy is delusional, and i think he used you to enable these delusions. That guy will NEVER find a fulfilling relationship, and the best thing you can do is get away from him because he's obviously fueling your own sense of self-worth (or lack thereof!)You need some self-confidence. No one wants to be with a wishy-washy Charlie Brown-caricature. Confidence is sexy. You need to find some!No one is gonna be happy with you until you're happy with yourself, ya know? It's cheesy, but it's so true.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 I think maybe you had a confidence problem even before him, otherwise you'd have been surely not elated at the idea of being with a men that , frankly, sounds rather superficial and obnoxious, and most of all TELLS you in your face that you can't meet his friends because you'd cramp his style. I think you would never accept to be treated this way by a nerd , but you did with him... because he is tall and handsome. And successful. It's like he has the quality you'd want for yourself, but rather than working on FEELING beautiful and becoming more successful than you are now , - you live these things by proxy by having sex with him. Remember Bridget Jones:) She felt exactly like you . But at the end, what does Hugh Grant do ? He dumps her in a Thai airport to fight by herself with a false charge of drug smuggling. Luckily , there's the other guy, the more normal, "boring " guy ( who was he, Colin Farrell I think ? ) who saves the day....
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