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female
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*assyalis402
writes: Hi,there's this guy who i dated for awhile...after some stuff that happened with us,we realise it's better to be friends. However friends meant...he would still call everyday and let me know what he's doing. We were still very close even though we never had sex before...and I still love him very much!Recently however one of his ex from long ago(4yrs)...contacted him and they start chatting online. I always had known that this particular girl, he had really liked and cared for back then. Anyway everything was normal...until I went on Hi5 where i saw he sent her a "Betterhalf" five...Now i don't know what to think...or do! Don't know if he has something with her or what. I know his ex is engaged rite now...but u know the old saying "old firewood could catch a fire fast".After confronting him...i was upset...and he said it meant nothing to him and then immediately after he deleted her from his account. I don't know if that proves to me that he doesn't care about her.He keeps saying that he loves me..and she's in the past...but i don't know if i should still talk to him or just let him go:-( Plz help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): you can not be friends with an ex boyfreind or girlfriend. these realtionships despite how they ended were formed from a bond that the two had but for one reason or another it ended. but it also depends on how long the relationship lasted and what was the real attraction. was it love, money or lust. ex's cant be friends becasue evently involvment will take place and it would ruin a current relationship that a person is in. personally, once i am finished with someone that is it because i left for a reson why would i go back because they are not going to change.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): if he is still conversing with her in that form of communication no he is not over her and i would slowly but surely pull away because he will do things in the manner that he did with her. he says i love you but his actions speak another language. he's lying and if you are not careful you will find your self being second to this ex. beleive me i know because i have gone through the same thing and it's not fair to you and i am sure you do love him and probably have done all that you could to show him that you care and is there for him but it does no good. for some reason men are attracted to trash and messy realtionships and they do not know how to treat a decent woman. i just ended a realtionship like that. i love him but i love myself more and there is someone out there that will really appreciate it. the guy i was involved with would rather put off being with me with the excuse that family was home well if that's the case he would have invited me along but in his previous relationship he didn't do that with her and so he neglected me. so i kicked his sorry a--- to the crub. i deserve better than being second to someone in his past. i would leave.
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Like everyone else says. You're not a couple!!! He can date and have sex with anyone he wants to. Why would you confront him??? Better question: Why would he give you an explanation??? Its obvious, like I have said at least a dozen times before on this site alone. Ex's shouldn't be friends!!! There are feelings there and they will remain there until you resolve them on your own. If you two love each other that much were you can question him and he will explain then maybe you should just get back together because honestly he is well within his rights to see whoever he likes. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 It's hard to say. It sounds like they aren't having a relationship, but only they know for sure.
However your are sustaining something that likely won't last. You have have an emotional relationship with this man with an intensity matching that of a lover. Meaning you feel possessive about him: you want him for yourself (which is perfectly natural). But since you are not having sex, you have to expect him at some point to find a girlfriend. At this point you'll lose much of your connection with him: his girlfriend won't want you in the picture. At least not in the way you are now. That is going to really hurt.
I suggest you either consider having a full relationship with him, or start to consider what both your longer term emotional / physical needs are and be prepared for your new partners to enter the picture, whenever that happens. Otherwise one or the other of you (probably you?) will end up heartbroken.
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A
female
reader, pica +, writes (26 October 2006):
I don't really get this - you're not a couple. You were, but it didn't work out so you've stayed friends. So, what now? Is that it for the rest of your lives? Not each other, but no-one else either? I think perhaps you both need to ease off - stay friends, but perhaps not quite so intensely. If you are not in a relationship then don't confuse each other by acting as if you are.
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A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Im a little confused here. From what I can gather you two are not together anymore, if this is the case then you should be able to deal with the possibility of him being with someone else.But if you both say you love each other then why are you not together?? Seems that it will not work as just friends if you both still have these feelings. You both need to make a decission, either you want to be together or you dont. If not I would suggest getting some space from each other and possibly contact each other once a week, more like friends do. As for the ex girlfriend, if its just contact through mail then it seems quite harmless, would be more concerned if they were meeting. However for your reassurance I would talk to him and just ask why they decided to get back in contact and what they talk about, but dont push for information this will only lead to an arguement.Its then upto you what you make of the information you obtain.Good luck :)
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