A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm over 8 months pregnant and been in a relationship with the father for 3 years.. hes been so supportive throughout the pregnancy financially but seems to have totally gone off me physically. i mean i dont want sex all the time or anything its not exactly great at this stage in a pregnancy anyway but he doesnt cuddle me or show any affection.. anyway last weekend he went out with some of his friends who drink take drugs and dont have jobs etc etc we had a huge argument and he said he has no life, hes only stayed because he feels sorry for me and im holding him back in life... so he left and didnt return home until 2.30am its knocked my confidence because i have always genuinely belived he was madly inlove with me until now... we'v talkd and he says it was the drink talking bla bla but im not convinced... what do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your advice.. its really helped!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): Hey there,
I am completely in agreemet with Cerberus here, and I totally recommend explaining to this guy that as much as you love him and your carrying his baby, you will not hesitate to leave if you believe he is not 100% commited to you and your child. Then if he doesn't buck his ideas up I would personally leave and DO NOT CONTACT HIM.
Let absence give him time to think and miss you. If he doesn't realise what he has, then as hard as it will be for you, you have to leave for your own self-esteem and quality of life. If he doesn't love you and you stay with him, you may have the financial(which you'll get apart)and parenting support, but you'll be hung out to dry with unhappiness.
Have you got any friends family that can support you?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 It might have been the drinks. After all, alcohol increases aggression and when people are aggressive, they will say anything or do anything to practically destroy their object of their hate. They may or may not mean it and you were only the object of his hatred whilst he was drunk.
But how has he proven such a thing? Has he apologized and shown you how sorry he is? Has he made up for it all?
As for the affection, have you asked him why? Some men are put off by the look of a pregnant woman (personally I do not see why, some women can be pregnant and still look amazing!), that may be why there is less affection, unless, he has always been that way. It is a little disturbing that he would not at least try for the sake of the love he presumably felt.
Perhaps you should take a break and see how he reacts, what he does to change. I would not usually recommend this but I am confident in this instance that it will serve you well in clarifying his true feelings and intentions towards you.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 CONGRATULATIONS on becoming a Mommy. It's truly one of the greatest feelings in the world. You get to be apart of an exclusive club that some will never know.
I'm going to have to say, bullcrap on this one. You are holding him back in his life? How? Did you crawl on top of yourself and get pregnant? I don't think so.
I think you should discuss with him why you two got into an argument over him going to his dead beat friends' house. Because they drink (probably excessively) and have no jobs, which tells you that they have no ambition in life and those aren't the kind of people your man needs to be hanging out with when there is a child on the way.
It could have been his drinking talking and it could have not been his drinking talking.
Now, just because he said that, doesn't mean that he isn't in love with you still. It might just be that since you are so close to the end of your pregnancy, he is realizing that you two are going to have a child. A human who is dependant upon you two for everything and that is just a little more realistic for him than he had hoped for. It's probably his fears coming to the surface.
I would sit down and talk to him. Tell him that you love him, really love him and you want to be with him, but you don't have to be with him if he feels sorry for you and if that's the only reason he is with you.
You don't deserve that. I hope this helps you. Just be honest and talk with him. You two have been together for three years, has he felt sorry for you the whole time? I don't think so. He loves you, but he is scared.
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