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Do guys prefer women to initiate contact just as much?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Like a traditional, i prefer the guys to do the chasing. But do guys prefer women to initiate contact just as much??

I met this guy on a dating website two weeks ago and we hit it off. We've only met up three times but after every date hes text/called to say how much he enjoyed it etc.

Then the days in between the dates he hardly gets in contact, and when he does, the conversation just doesnt flow. When we're apart, we never talk about what we're doing, what our interests are, what we're doing on the weekend etc...Its just about how much he wants to see me again and how beautiful he finds me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010):

Three dates, so this is early days. There's nothing wrong with the occasional text saying how you doing? But you don't want to look as if you are pursuing him so be relaxed about it. You will want to get to know him though - so as things progress you will want to know all about his life. If he is less than furthercoming over the weeks you might want to be a little careful that he is not already in a relationship. But for now I would try and be relaxed about it and see how it developes.

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (23 November 2010):

largentsgirl89 agony auntDo you two have a lot in common? It doesn't really sound like you do. Sometimes conversations just don't flow, even when you have some chemistry going.

He doesn't contact you at all in between dates? Do you ever contact him in between dates and ask him how his day is going or anything?

Guys love it when you do that. Since you two are in the beginning of your "relationship" you two are getting to know each other and maybe he isn't comfortable with the thought of texting/calling first cause he doesn't want to be rejected.

So yes, initiate contact first. This is the 21st century, go for it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010):

Yes, you can initiate contact if you want to but here's the thing: when you said that you don't really have much to say in between dates and all he does is complement you on your appearance, that set alarm bells off for me.

I'm not saying this is the case but it could be he's dating others seeing as you two are exclusive yet. Also, if you are only really having any conversation on the actual dates but not in between, that could mean that he's just wineing and dining you to get a bit of action.

If he is truly interested in you as a person and not just trying to get in your pants then he would be making more of an effort with regards to conversation and not just calling you "beautiful". If he is concentrating on your looks alone, then that isn't a good sign.

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