A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:around 3 weeks ago i met a guy at a club, swapped names and numbers etc and we have literally been texting non-stop since, and not even little texts, proper long, full on essays (mostly around 8 page texts). I'm not exagerrating, apart from when we have been sleeping there has not been a period of longer than an hour and a half that we havent replied to each other! that's how well we got on! we met because he was visiting a friend in my hometown, him actually living around a 4 hour drive away :/ however we got on so well and i thought if we ever did get into something, as i honestly saw proper potential in it, we'd work round the distance (i can drive etc). but then last night, completely out of the blue in the middle of conversation, he sent me this! :"I have to say something which may seem completely random, but you deserve to know why I have to stop texting you. I have such a gut feeling that I will regret this. But my ex girlfriend (we split up like 2 months ago a bit more maybe) who I have been in contact with but we just seem to argue all the time she's lied so much it's ridiculous,but anyway she has come to see me this evening to say that we should have 2 weeks to think about if there is anything left to save/ if I wanted to after what she did, but during the time we agreed not to text or anything any girls or boys for her, who we may be interested in as not to cloud our opinions. I'm so gutted to say this, even though you live so far away I have felt we can get along so well, but I can't lie to people I hate lying so its something I have to do, to stick to my morals. Sorry this may seem like something really deep but like I said I thought you should know instead of me just ignoring you, which I couldnt do.I hope you don;t think i'm a complete dick for this, but I think its fair on my ex that I do this as I agreed to it and i dont want to lie to her, though she has been a complete bitch to me and moved on with someone days after we split up and it was like going on for two weeks :(But im just very confused about everything she can somehow make me feel so guilty and i dont want to complicate things anymore, sorry I expect that you dont want to know anything so I'll stop. All I can say is Im really sorry and i will really miss our texts, I enjoyed them so much. I'm gutted I didn't get to meet you again :(I really wish you the best and hope you get through this week ok, my thoughts will be with you.You seem like such a lovely, cute, caring, pretty person, with an awesome music taste. :( But like I said I cant text you anymore because I don't want to lie and make things anymore complicated. You don't have to reply I will understand if you don't. I'm sorry xxx xxx xxx"sorry for the length of that he really did send an essay, all Im asking is for people's opinions on this? is he just not over his ex or is there a chance he might eventually come and say he made a mistake? i'm trying not to be stupid and naive about this, its just before this i really thought we coulda had something!!! my past 2 boyfriends just ended up getting back with their exes, I'm starting to think im cursed :(
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 He really likes you, but as he writes he is confused because he still has feelings for his ex.
I have to give him major points for not just stop talking to you, but because he felt like he "owed" you an explanation, that makes him a good guy in my book.
I think one of the bigger issues is not that he isn't over her, but that he is so conflicted as to how he feels at all. Considering that he calls her a bitch more then once, yet fells compelled to "try" to work it out.
Honestly, I know it sucks, but.... it's better it happened now then 2 months down the line.
He IS doing the right thing by you.
And I don't think you are cursed, you have just had some bad luck.
I would let it go. Maybe he will see the error of his choice, maybe not.
chin up!
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 November 2011):
 He is not over his ex at all, he obviously is still in a place where he is letting her walk all over him and dictate what he should be doing - so he is nowhere near raedy for getting into a relationship with a new person.
He obviously likes you but his feelings for his ex will be a lot stronger, and it sounds like they are planning on getting back together. So you are best to not reply to him and let him go, there is still too many unresolved issues with his ex so you are going to end up hurt here.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 It seems like this guy is a true gentlemen, he has told you the truth about his situation with the ex and he doesnt want to leave you hanging. It would better for you back off because if he is going back to be with his ex then it means that he stil loves her and is not completely over her. Its tough to let it go, especially since you guys hit it off and were getting on so well. Just dont close all lines of communication with him maybe someday he could change his mind. You should continue going out with your friends, enjoying yourself and exchanging names and numbers with other guys until you meet a guy who isnt stuck up on his ex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): he doesnt seem quite over her to me.
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