A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey, silly question. The other day I was having sex with my fiancé and right in the middle of the action he noticed my head was banging against the wall - nothing major, really, I could just feel the wall touching my head... I wasn't hurt or anything. Anyways, as he noticed this he stopped, stretched his arm, grabbed a pillow and put it between my head and the wall. At first I thought: "Awwww, how considerate of him!" then I thought "What! He stopped having sex because he noticed that... maybe he wasn't really that much into the action if he could take the time to stop and grab a pillow"... so now I'm thinking he's not enjoying sex with me because he's aware of what goes on around him instead of being lost in the moment. I know this sounds ridiculous, but it's turning into a bit of an issue in my head. Can you help me? Do you think he was being considerate or just not into the sex? Thank you and... sorry if this sounds super silly! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Alright I get your question. You are asking if because he was able to stop and get distracted does that mean he wasn't all that into the sex to begin with? No it does not. He is a considerate partner and noticed what seemed to be like you are in pain. Being aware of your surroundings does not mean you aren't enjoying sex. My husband can be right in the middle of a great time and get distracted by our dog doing something. Means nothing so don't worry.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Must agree with most others - he cares about you. So what's the problem with that?
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A
female
reader, Sub_Lia  +, writes (27 August 2012):
I'm almost certain it was a considerate move on his part, but if you're really concerned just ask him.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 August 2012):
 Should we suppose, also, that if you and he were on the edge of a cliff, and the cliff started to crumble under you, he should continue on rather than move the two of you away from the abyss??????
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 August 2012):
 So you're complaining because your boyfriend was focused on how you were feeling during sex? A lot of women have trouble getting their boyfriend to pay attention and here you have a guy who is and now you're upset about it? I'm a bit confused as to how this is a problem! Guys are a lot less complicated about sex than women. While we have to be totally and completely in the moment and focused to enjoy sex, guys can usually switch on and off pretty easily.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 August 2012):
 gawd if my head was banging against the wall my man BETTER stop what he's doing I don't care if he's 2 seconds from exploding.... MY comfort comes first... that's LOVE honey...
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 I get easily distracted in sex. it doesn't make it any worse. I always feel very caring towards my partner during the sex act. I care for her more than myself. maybe thats whats going on with your partner. enjoy what you can and let him do what he wants. you should explore your common ground and your differences. he's not doing anything wrong.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 How in the world you've managed to turn a sweet and considerate move on his part, into something negative, is beyond me. Of course he was being considerate! How in the world would it be a good thing to be so self obsessed that you can only focus on your OWN pleasure during sex, so much that you're ignoring the fact that your girlfriend gets her head banged up in a wall. In what way would THAT be good??? Lost in the moment.. no one should be so lost in themselves and their own ego that they can't notice when they're hurting someone else. That's nothing to wish for at all.
Yes, this is ridiculous. I don't know why you think him taking care of you is a negative thing, please think about why you want him to be selfish, or why you think it's a negative thing that he wants you to be comfortable during sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): I wouldn't worry about it. My boyfriend does almost the exact same thing when we have sex. I think it's kind of natural for them to be more concerned iabout what their doing if they care about you. I know I'll like get into that zone and not really care what is going on except for orgasm. Then all of a sudden there'll be a thunk thunk and he'll be like "oh geeze let's move you a little bit." and I'll be like "no I'm fine don't take me out of the zone." hahaI also think it might be kind of a size difference thing. I know I'm like 5'2 and my guys like 6'1 so that might bring out the protective instinct a little bit if he's larger than you.Look at it this way I think it would be a lot more concerning if he just banged your head through the head board and gave you a concussion without caring right?:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Was there any noise going on around you, such as the bed banging against a wall? Or do you have any children that were in the next room that could have got woken up from noise so he decided to stop in case? Things like this may put him off.
I take it you've not asked him about it?
Perhaps you should. He may have a good reason, and there may not be anything more to it than that.
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