A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is really awesome and we have a really close relationship we're even going away next weekend to skydive and stay out of town. (super excited!)But lately he's been purposely trying to push my buttons. At first when he did it it wasn't very often and it was kind of funny and cute because I'm pretty patient and don't get mad easy but now it's just really irritating, and once in a while he'll say something that's just kind of outrageous and I'll blow the whistle on him and he'll look at me like "oh crap I know I just went over the line."He says stuff like "chill out, calm down, you're gonna make a seen" or " I love you I just don't love all your crap" or he'll make exaggerated faces and bobble his head and say that's what I look like. And this weekend I was kind of ignoring him a little bit cause he was being an annoyance so I went to put on some make up and get ready for the night and he came in to get a little attention cause I left him alone lol and after I was done he told me I was beautiful and hugged me and we stood there real close, so I said let's play a game you can kiss me anywhere as long as it doesn't mess up my make up ;) he kissed my forehead and left to watch tv and we went to the car show.Later I asked what was up cause he wanted to get frisked while I was busy on the phone and busy of course.... And he says "yea I know you were trying to seduce me but I figured it's go of to make you work for it and I like to push your buttons." needless to say we really didn't end up getting frisky it turned into kind of a stand off....I started to bring some of my stuff back to my place because I wanted to see what he would do. He saw me packing them and asked what I was doing. I said he was complaining about my stuff so I didn't want to unman his mancave and just figured I could bring it back to my place. He looked a little worried and immediately told me I could leave my stuff and that he didn't mind it. So obviously he doesn't really mind my nighties or stuffed animals at his place.Anyways what's with this button pushing? its annoying and his dad does the same thing to a much more obnoxious extent and my bf always says ohh just ignore him he's just being funny and to ignore him. So is this like something that all guys do? Or is it like a passive aggressive thing? Why do they do it.? It's really not cute anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): I'm kind of like that, I like teasing, slagging and joking about stuff and I'm a very sarcastic fecker in general too. It's more to do with fun than being passive aggressive, it's just finding fun in one-upmanship. It can be very annoying for someone who's not like that though, so I'm glad my girlfriend is. We had a year long prank war before and had to stop because we started to going too far. I think the final nail in that coffin was putting Deep Heat into her face moisturiser that did not go down well at all haha, the next morning she filled an entire bucket with water and ice and threw the whole thing over at 6 in the morning when she was up for work that didn't go down well either, so I ceded defeat.
OP it sounds to me like you too are playing games and you can't get anymore passive aggressive than moving your stuff to see his reaction. You can't exactly complain about him pushing buttons when you do it too. That wasn't exactly cute.
OP if you don't like it anymore then don't join in, you can't say anything about him pushing buttons because you are.
If you want him to stop, then just stop him when he's doing that. I know when my girlfriend is not in the mood for it and I don't do it, I don't sulk when she says "not now" because there's no reason to.
I must warn you OP, it's kind of who he is and he's always going to have that to some extent. The best you can hope for is that he tones it down because honestly if he tries to get rid of it completely then he may become the opposite and just not put any effort in anymore.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 I think your boyfriend does it because his father does it, so he's led my example. Maybe its his way of showing affection, i know some guys are passive aggresive and think thats a way of showing their love (when it isnt).
You have 2 options; accept that your boyfriend is this way, and when he acts like that ignore it.
or 2
you lay your cards on the table and say you wont tolerate that kind of behavior, it is pushing your limits.
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