A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm recently divorced. My ex-husband was my first and only partner until now. Our sex life was always kind of vanilla to tell the truth and his sexual drive was never equal to mine. Anyway, I'm dating a younger man (he's 27). We just started having sex recently. Although it's been fun, I'm not sure what to make of him. Each time we have sex, he pulls out and ejaculates on my stomach and boobs. He knows I'm fixed, so he's probably living out his own porn fantasy. Why do guys like that and is this a common thing young guys do these days? I've been out of the dating loop for 20+ years.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 October 2016):
 My guess is that he enjoys doing this. Everyone has there own pleasures or fetishes and well I guess this is just the way he likes to finish off. Maybe he was in a relationship before you where they did not use condoms and wanted to avoid pregnancy so now it is habit, maybe he saw it in a porno or maybe he genuinely just likes finishing like that. He is the only one with answers. If you don't like it then tell him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2016): It's just a personal pleasure that adds to his climax. It's no big deal. Some people cry, some tremble and shake, some scream-out, some like to kiss. His finale is to ejaculate on your stomach and chest. It's sort of his little sexual habit.
Always let your sex-partner know when things bother you or you find certain acts offensive; or if he does anything that makes you uncomfortable. Don't simply allow it to please him. Anything he does should please you both. If it freaks you out, SAY SO!
Anybody with half a brain knows pulling out isn't a reliable way to avoid pregnancy. Pre-ejaculate can carry enough sperm to get a woman pregnant. Even if you're "fixed" you're not immune to STD's or HIV, and should be using condoms.
I wouldn't over-analyze it to mean degradation or some power-play on his part. His overall personality in general would show aggression or dominance if he's that kind of guy. Demand respect from all men. Show your own power and confidence. It's probably what attracts him to you in the first place.
Please...don't overthink it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2016): You are his living blow up doll.
All he wants is sex.
That's what I think.
Can you handle that kind of relationship or are you setting yourself up to get hurt?
If you can't handle it, now would be the time to walk away.
Let's face it. He is living out his fantasy. A lot of guys his age fantasize about banging older women. And all it will ever be for him is sex. A fantasy come to life. There will never be any substance to this relationship.
Cumming outside your body on your stomach and boobs would be ok if he did it here or there depending on the mood or the intensity of the sex. NOT everytime. Sometimes it's gentle and tender. Sometimes it's urgent, primal and raw. Sometimes it's cuddling and oral. Sometimes a quickie. Sex comes in many moods. So my point is if he ALWAYS does this then it is very telling. Sex is one dimensional. Purely sexual and nothing else. About his need to get off and nothing else. Younger lovers can be much more self involved and selfish when it comes to love making. Seems your guy fits the bill.
I am 48 and divorced. My bf of 3 years is my second sexual partner. And he is 15 years older than I am. He and I had sex today and although he likes doggy style he told me it's too impersonal and that he doesn't enjoy it if I don't. I was ok if he continued but he chose not to because it's not my favourite. So he stopped and we had sex in other positions. He would not do anything I did not like. Because he feeds off me. When I am aroused, so is he. He spends most of his time pleasuring me and making sure I have multiple orgasms without ever caring if he has one. Although he does orgasm and enjoys them, he is focused on my getting off and not so much him. Older lovers are definitely more giving and more patient and less selfish.
I would talk to him about it if it bothers you. And hope that he doesn't do it every single time. That could get pretty boring for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2016): My husband hates condoms. We are married for 20 years and he still ejaculates on my stomach.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 October 2016):
 I'd say this is most definitely encouraged by porn if not inspired by it.
There seems to be an element of domination, or claiming territory (which does not mean the guy who likes doing it is making a life long commitment or anything). Whatever it may mean to a man, it is perceived by me to be an act of casual disregard, bordering on contempt. Similar to him getting drunk and urinating or defecating on my floor, leaving it for me to clean and not having enough class or self respect to be mortified by it later. It's the best comparison I can come up with at the moment.
I have never met or heard of any woman of any age at any point in my life who has ever ENJOYED this. From what I can tell it seems to be varying degrees of tolerance (usually by women who rely on 'pulling out' as a means of birth control. I don't mean to dictate what it means to YOU, but if you did find this a bit off putting, you wouldn't be alone.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (15 October 2016):
Is contraception used? Might he think this a way to avoid pregnancy?
What you describe is not uncommon: over the years on this site I’ve heard quite a few stories of men doing this. Some actually go one better and ejaculate in their partner’s face, which some believe may be enacting something seen in porn. Others argue that it’s about power, but more so when it’s done in the face: I personally find that a sexually aggressive act. It is certainly possible that porn has inspired this behaviour. Do you know if he watches porn?
The most important thing, as with any sexual act, is whether you feel comfortable with it. You need to tell him if you don’t or would prefer that he didn’t do it. If it’s okay and you’re enjoying it, carry on as you are. And there’s never any harm in asking him why he does it: just don’t do it in an accusatory way if you don’t want him to stop. And always encourage: tell your partner what you’d like, especially if you’re going to tell him to stop doing things he does at the moment.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (15 October 2016):
 Guys' sexual responses are much more geared to visual things than women's. They like to SEE the evidence of their masculinity, while women prefer to FEEL things.
If you don't like him doing this but he does like it, perhaps suggest compromise where he will do it sometimes but not every time?
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