A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There's this guy I know and who hits on me a lot. We've hooked up quite some times. He tells all this stories about being in the military, being deployed, being hurts in battle, the military training, the special courses he has, that he wakes up everyday at 6am to train.He honestly brings it to the conversation every time he meets someone, and will mention it even when the conversation doesn't require it (comparisons like "oh, you got bullied at work? well i went to there, there and there and got shot there and saw people die and I am here". Which is weird by itself.He puts up a lot of pictures on facebook. They never show his face, always just the back or just a piece of the face (like the chin or a ear). Once I was browsing my newsfeed and he put up a photo he had already shown on his phone. At the same time, a friend of mine told me that we could google pictures (instead of searching a keyword/sentence you search a image, and google retrieves the website she's on). So I thought hey, lets see how it works. And took the guy's picture url and google it. And the picture was on a online article about a deployment. Then I tried it with some other pictures. I'd say 80% of the pictures he had military related popped up on google. 10% were scanned old pictures (where his face showed, but they were all when he was young, at a time where military service was mandatory), another 10% were pictures that didn't pop up but where his face didn't show.So.. Why would he put up pictures that are found online? I mean.. the chance that he got in all those shots that are online is minimum! I know he did mandatory military service, but there are NO proof that he is still doing it. It all looks like a huge fat lie.How should I act? Just pretend I don't know anything?Should I tell our friends? I've hooked up with him, so I feel soooooo embarrassed and naive!!
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (30 May 2013):
 You shouldn't be embarrassed or feel naive. I know a lot of guys, even ones my age, that do this too.
I don't know if they like the attention, feel more important for doing it or if they actually just believe the delusion, but they do it.
My one friend made up this insane story where I rescued him from drugs dealers behind our mall and it never happened. I even said to his face that it never happened and he insists that it did in fact happen.
He sounds insecure and he invented the super hero version of himself and he likes this person and feel comfortable being this person. If it makes you feel better to confront him, then do so. If you'd rather just leave it alone, then you could do that instead.
It really makes me wonder though if they believe everything they are saying or if the "image" they created got out of control and now they are just trying to save face.
Good luck to you and I hope this helps in someway, I don't know if it was helpful at all or not.
A
female
reader, haribo158  +, writes (19 May 2013):
I think he sounds very insecure, and sees this kind of brave hero military guy as the kind of guy he wishes he was, so he invented this lie to get away from the reality of being himself, and being someone he likes better. Once he started living in that fantasy world, he got comfortable with it so he feels like he always needs to keep up with it.
It's very weird and sad but I don't think he did it to hurt other people, more just to feel better about himself.
Don't feel embarrassed or naive, there was no reason to doubt him after all, how could you have known he was lying? It's a mistake anyone could have made.
If you're angry then telling him you know may help, maybe by facing up to these lies he could start to change, however many liars when they get caught just keep on lying, so he may find some false excuse for his behaviour, be prepared for that.
Good luck
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