A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Please help as I'm in need of advice/answers (only from men please). Have been in 2 yr relationship with a disabled man. I love him, yet he always plays mind games. I don't mind this, as I know that he's very insecure; On new years day i rang to say hello. He hung up on me and since then I haven't heard from him. I am a very fair person therefore have told him that in an email that if he no longer wishes to see or speak to me I accept, respect, and comprehend his wishes. Ultimately I have asked him to please return my things which were left at his home. He has ignored all requests. As I don't do the headache thing, I will not continuously call, text him etc. My gut instinct tells me that he's holding onto the things as he does not wish to lose me. however I really need some insight into this. Thank you guys. God bless x
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male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 I am gonna disagree with CaringGuy here when he says, "A man looking for love will come to you. A man looking for power will make you come to him. He just wants to feel powerful, he's not interested in you."Clearly he has issues. But this doesn't mean he's not interested in you. You have not made clear the background of your story, i.e., why he hung up on you. Maybe you were in the midst of a fight, I don't know. But some people are verbal and can express themselves and others, well, when they are hurt they don't know how to tell the other person other than childish actions. Holding onto your stuff might be his way of saying, he's hurt, he doesn't want you to leave, and he wants to keep some of you with him. When people are threatened, they tend to go inwards and hold on to what they have if they feel everything else is out of control. Whether you want to be with him is another story, but I do think in his own primitive way he is showing that you meant something to him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 March 2011):
I'm sorry, but you're off the mark I'm afraid. This guy is no doubt very insecure because of his disability, but in no way does that give him the right to treat you like some piece of meat who'll come running.
My gut instinct, is that he feels insecure, but wants a slave rather than a woman. I think it makes him feel powerful to know that you'll come running. I don't think he's afraid to lose you because he loves you. I just think he feels good by making someone as thoughtful as you feel bad. Sadly, some people do this.
I would not text again, and instead talk to a solicitor/Citizen's Advice/Police about getting your stuff back.
A man looking for love will come to you.
A man looking for power will make you come to him.
He just wants to feel powerful, he's not interested in you. I am sorry, because you're so clearly a lovely woman. But don't waste time on any man, no matter what his condition is, if he wastes your time.
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