A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my husband likes to have phone sex with gay guys he meets on the party lines and he recently asked me if i wanted to put my dildo in his ass is he gay or just wants to experiment?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): 1) He is cheating on you if he is having phone sex with those men, unless you willing consented to it. He is cheating regardless of the gender he's interacting with.
2) His sexuality can be anything including attraction towards women. Men and women whom are attracted to both genders can still be with one person forever. It just means their sexual turn-ons incorporate more than the 'opposite' gender.
3) As Nichiren mentioned, if you are not comfortable with his behavior, speak with him about it. Make your mind heard. If he wants to explore other sexual techniques like having a dildo up his ass, you can choose to try it out.
4) Men who enjoy having their asses probed does not necessarily mean they are gay. If that logic that men are gay by having their anuses probed is true, then women who like their anuses to be probed are what then? You see, it's just another way to get off. Just like some men and women like oral sex, vaginal penetration, hand jobs, foot jobs, etc, etc, etc.
A
male
reader, nichiren +, writes (26 February 2009):
 He is attracted to men somewhat.But he may not want to date or actually have sex with a man.He wants to see how it feels to be penetrated but without having to accept tha mantle of homosexuality or bisexuality.So in essence him asking you to try it makes it a bit more acceptable.Using the dildo on him may actually fix the issue by letting him see that that type of sex may not be what he is interested in.It also may spur him more towards his curiousity.If you are not comfortable with any of this tell him up front. If he refuses to let those chocies go, then you may need to let him go.
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A
male
reader, 23ConfusedOne23 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I don't think he's gay, but you do have to talk to him about his phone sex issue. I think he's talking to them because they can provide his fantasy which is something he's obviously very interested in even if it's just trough the phone. I think he's not gay at all rather just exploring him self. If you are not bothered by the thought of giving him anal stimulation then i'd say do it since i am guessing you love him. It would make him feel good becuase he's receiving it from someone who loves him. If you are not at all into it then he might try to do it him self or look for somewhere else for assistance. You do need to sit down with him though just to make sure that he's still sexually attracted to you and not changing his ways(however i don't think it's the case).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): What the ?? It amazes me how some women pacify this behaviour as 'experimenting'. You're in denial if you think it's o.k. How do you get love and respect from your husband when you don't confront him that he's cheating on you with other men?This is Not o.k. You don't have a real marriage if he continues to do this. By real marriage, I'm talking vows to love and cherish YOU and only you.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 This is a tricky one since only he can know ever if he is gay, straight, bi, etc.
There are quite a few straight men out there who enjoy their women being of the 'giving' end of intercourse. Pressure on the prostate can be quite pleasurable for men.
His actions regarding the gay party lines are a bit confusing. I suggest you talk to him or seek couples counseling. In the end, you need to decide if you view this as cheating. You also need to find out from yourself whether you are willing to be in this relationship, is it for you? As long as he loves you and is faithful to you, I think you're ok, but if you are uncomfortable with this, then speak up to him.
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