A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my b/f a month ago. Been together for 4 years. I finally caught him cheating. I have dealt with him dirty dancing with two other girls, sex texts to his friend(thats a girl)I have dealt with more sex texts from 3 different girls and his drinking. (acholic) Even finding condoms in his car. Each time he has had very good explainations. But I am tired and have nothing left to give. I even left 4 months ago to show him he needs to smartin up cuz I was serious. I needed him to show me I could trust him. And I went bck to try again, while he made a half ass effort.I have been moved out and not together for a month now and He emailed today saying he will go to counselling , get rid of his phone , facebook and friends whatever for me to come back. He has even bought a ring.Heres the question more for the man but women are welcome of course too. : )Is he full of #$%* ?Once a cheater always cheater?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater either, ... but I think your man always will be.
There is just something a little different (not in impact to others - but in where it 'came' from) when a guy has fallen back in with his ex or a work mate circumstances forced him to have to spend hours a day with, compared to a guy grinding on random women, sending sex texts to multiple women, and being caught in the compromising position of leaving evidence around indicating car sex has been going on.
The guy in the former situation has a chance of reform, ... the second guy, your guy, uh-uh I so severely doubt it. Not with that sort of player behaviour.
Run!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): Thank you for the advice !!
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A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 CaringGuy is spot on dear. Find someone else. You have given him far too many chances. I see heartache in your future with this character. Dirty dancing? Really?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): Run, run, run away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): As a man I would say that for now it sounds like he is saying anything to get you back. He should at least show some sign of progress with his words. Full of shit? Yep! The moment you go back to him, he'll just revert to his old ways.
If you were my friend I would tell you to just watch from far and see how his life goes but try to date other guys and find a new guy, coz I see no reason why you should wait for him.
Good luck and all the best
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (1 April 2010):
 People change and only time will tell I don't believe in the once a cheater always a cheater; I believe in I cheated on you and you made it easy for me to come back so I'll cheat again. I think there are times when people do regret their mistakes and wish they could change them. If you truly love him and is willing to forget than do but make it hard to win you back so that he learns to appreciate you. But you are in your right not to forgive him for he have wrong you and if your always going to live in doubt than don't take him back and find happiness somewhere else. Good luck in your decision.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 April 2010):
This one will always be a cheater. Run a million miles away from him.
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