A
female
age
51-59,
*issingtheMark
writes:If a guy you are dating calls you when you are already on the other line and you ask him if you can call him right back, is it okay for him to ask you who you are talking to that is more important than him? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 I don't think anyone would blame you for sparing yourself the heartache.
Wish you the best.
A
female
reader, MissingtheMark +, writes (4 August 2008):
MissingtheMark is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me. Yes, he is very insecure and a bit obsessive. I got a letter from a girlfriend and he just picked it up and stated reading it. I have nothing to hide, but I don't feel that he is just curious. He just doesn't trust me. I feel that the lack of trust will eventually come to a blow down the road and I want to avoid the conflict and quite frankly the heartache.
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (3 August 2008):
 He is being a little childish really, is he a bit jealous that you may be talking to another guy?? There is nothing wrong in asking who it is, my husband always tells me who he was talking to or asks me if Im on the phone who it is. Not because we dont trust each other or are nosey but because we are genuinely interested x
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 August 2008):
The problem here is not whether he has a right to know who you're talking to at the moment he called. Clearly, he doesn't have to know. The problem really is the rest of the things you mentioned. He wants your immediate attention and details about what you're doing and who you're doing it with. That is the mark of a controlling and insecure person. I agree with Emilysanswers in considering this a very big red flag.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 August 2008):
Well it's fair enough that he should be curious who it is, the guy is interested in your life.
But I've read your follow up answers and if he's demanding to know and keeps stalking your cell just because you are, lets say, on the phone about a job or the bank or something a bit important, then he obviously has some issues.
Since it's a new relationship, this to me is a big red warning flag.
You can either stay with him and hope he works through it or you can tell him that you don't appreciate being made to feel terrible just because you rang the dentist to make an appointment for a check up.
This is his problem not yours. Tell him to get himself sorted or go and find some other girl to harass instead.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (3 August 2008):
 While it's nice that the guy is interested in your and your life, there comes a point where it's more controlling.
If this is a fairly new relationship he might just want to be reassured that you are only dating him. He does sound a little insecure.
If he starts peeling you away from your friends and family, run.
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A
female
reader, MissingtheMark +, writes (3 August 2008):
MissingtheMark is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf I do not cut over to the other line and take his call, he then text messages me because he can tell on the cell if I am on the other line. Apparently it only rings twice before it goes to voicemail. So at least I took his call. I have nothing to hide, but I feel that he should trust me and he doesn't. If he can't reach me, he will call and then text, and this will go on forever. I have never lied to him and have told him that I won't lie to him. I don't know what else I can do. The more he accuses me the more ticked off I get.
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A
female
reader, MissingtheMark +, writes (3 August 2008):
MissingtheMark is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Butterflykisses. That's what I thought, but I had to ask the question because he tries to make me feel like it is my fault. This is a fairly new relationship and I am afraid it will only get worse.
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A
female
reader, MissingtheMark +, writes (3 August 2008):
MissingtheMark is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do not feel it is appropriate to ask such questions. I ended up answering his question, but it didn't stop there. He questions me about everything!
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A
female
reader, ButterflyKisses +, writes (3 August 2008):
I think your question is irrelevant (not in a snarky way). It's not a question of right or wrong. If your significant other is asking that question he/she has little confidence in himself/herself, and just as little confidence about the relationship. While I think it's okay for him to think to himself, "Hmmm, I wonder who she's talking to...", I think it's a very weak and needy characteristic to verbalize it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Mae +, writes (3 August 2008):
Clearly he is slighty insecure. You could tell him who you are talking to, but if you feel it isn't his right to know you could simply reassure him that he's the most important person to you and you will call him back as soon as you are done.
Aunty Mae -.-
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