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anonymous
writes: Is drug-addiction a disease, or is it a choice?I had terrible tragic experience with drug addiction. Two of my kids got into it, and it destroyed the whole family, and one is dead now.He was the loveliest boy. And me and my husband never used any drugs, or alcohol.Yet, my son's drug addiction was so severe, and unstoppable, that there had to be some deep cause. They never diagnosed them with mental illness, and there are no other people in the extended family on drugs. So there was no example, no abuse and seemingly no inheritance. What can I tell to myself, why did this happen? Can someone be addicted so badly without any significant cause? Please tell me what you think. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Thank you very much ,for all the kind, and caring answers .
What a great feeling ,that complete strangers investing time to help the broken heart. What a great ''Cyber family''.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Addiction is a choice that takes over and gives the addict NO choice... once it's an addiction it's an obsession and many times a physical necessity. Detoxing can be complex as some addictions re-wire the body to such a state that going cold turkey can be fatal. The "DT's" (alcoholics suffer from this) is a result of the nerves in the brain continuing to fire as if the alcoholic is drunk... but where their is an absence of alcohol the nerves go nuts and they can have seizures... no choices being made at that point of an addiction.
Most addicts are trying to fill a hole in their soul... they feel different than others, out casts, and drugs change that... for a while.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Evidence strongly suggests that genetic susceptibilities and biological traits play a role in addictions; however, the development of an addiction is also shaped by a person's environment (for example, a person with alcoholism cannot become addicted without access to alcohol). The "addictiveness" of a drug is related to how strongly the drug activates the reward circuits in the brain. For instance, when the methamphetamine found on the street is purer (meaning that it stimulates the dopamine reward circuits more), then the number of first-time drug users who become drug abusers is higher. But you can never find a drug addict ,who has no bad stuff in his history. It is also chance, how things will turn out...
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 There is no correct answer to this. But drug addiction in itself is not as disease you are born with or catch. Nor is it often a pure choice. In most cases, that I imagine with the very little experience I have with drug addiction (any drug, including alcohol), is that it is a combination of many things. Often there is group pressure. Or something that changed dramatically in your life. Some are easier to become addicted than others, purely genetically. Your personality could be weak, maybe if you are insecure it is easier to follow another persons will instead of your own. You could be stupid, as in a low IQ, and not realize the consequences. There could be so many reasons. In many cases I will say your life situation plays in heavily, and your mental health. Drug addiction could be a sign of something deeper going on, such as depression or even a mental illness.
These things are hard to speculate in. There are cases of just bad luck, where the young person was simply easily influenced as most young people are, made a few wrong choices, and things spiraled out of control. But wondering why doesn't help what happened in your family. And I do hope you find a support group to help you through it, and have someone to talk to about all these thoughts. Wondering about why won't help you, or change what happened. There are those who want to know why, and who work with those who are addicted. Perhaps one day when you are strong enough you can use your knowledge and experience to help others who have a family member who is an addict, or perhaps even help those who are addicted to recover from it. But before any of that is possible you must accept that you will never know why your son became addicted, and accept that it isn't necessary for you to know this either for you to heal from the loss.
Take care of yourself.
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reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 Initially, individuals experiment with drugs by "choice". Once addiction sets in, it becomes a disease. You would be wise to read as much as you can about addiction, so that you will have a better idea as to why this happened to your kids. I highly recommend you check out the following link from the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA):
http://www.nida.nih.gov/scienceofaddiction/
This is a reliable website... "The NIDA is a Federal scientific research institute under the National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. NIDA is the largest supporter of the world's research on drug abuse and addiction."
Have you joined any support groups for family members of addicts (Nar-Anon, Al-Anon, etc.)? If not, this is something you may find quite helpful.
My heart goes out to you for the pain you have experienced. It's important that you realize this is not your fault. Please look into joining a support group if you haven't done so already. Good luck!
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reader, happy24birthday +, writes (7 February 2011):
 Nobody chooses to be a drug addict. I personally think it's a disease, and just like you would have to have a course of treatment to treat a physical disease such as cancer, there has to be a course of treatment to treat drug addiction.
Based on my own personal experience drug addicts like to get high... they just like it. They like it better than they like anything else. I'm just lucky and saved by the grace of God that I've never experienced a drug that's taken hold of me like that. The way it alters their brain is unlike any other experience they have. Yes, often there are hurts and pains they are trying to get away from, but plain and simple they just like being high. Though there is sometimes a familial tendency toward dependence, this is not always the case. I really, really believe that some people just happen to find the one thing they can't do without. There doesn't have to be a mental defect for that to happen, just one instnce of liking a substance and one can be hooked.
I cannot fathom the pain you must be going through. I know it seems like your love and the love of others should be enough to get someone to just stop using drugs. It's not. It's not personal... it's just not enough. As parents we do the best we can at the time and hope and pray for the best for our children. May God keep you and give you the comfort you need.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): I wouldn't describe it as a disease, nor would I describe it as a choice. To say it is a disease is to completely absolve responsibility and to say its a choice is to imply almost too much responsibility. It is, if you ask me, just a very strong influence- basically no different from cigarettes. Some people can get addicted and quit cold turkey, some can take 20 years to quit... some find it almost impossible and smoke until the day they die even though they desperately tried to quit countless times.
I think there is definitely a genetic element (brain chemistry, seratonin & dopamine levels) to it with some people being more susceptable to drugs than others, but that certainly doesn't apply to all situations.
I am very sorry to hear about your son... but when it comes to drugs, there really is no such thing as bad parenting unless you're either introducing them to, buying, providing or letting them do drugs in your presence. If you've done none of these things, then you've done nothing to encourage them, but unfortunately, nothing that they can't have friends do for them anyways.
As someone who has admittedly dabbled, trust me when I say that as a parent you are not responsible in anyway for your sons habit. As for a reason... Well it really comes down to the circle of friends that he hung out with. If you're never introduced to something, then you can never get hooked... and if you're around similar people who are doing exactly the same thing, then you can't be judged. The more hooked you get, the more you relate to and enjoy hanging out with "those friends" and the more drugs you do. Vicious cycle really.
I don't know what else to say really... :( Nobody likes to hear about people dying from their addiction and that's one thing that parents and drug addicts alike can agree on.
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reader, Justicepleaze +, writes (7 February 2011):
Its dependent on the person and the family history of coping with depression.
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reader, dirtball +, writes (7 February 2011):
 It depends on the drug. Alcoholism is seen as a disease in the states. However all other drug addictions aren't, at least medically speaking. That's absolutely ridiculous in my book because alcohol IS a drug, just like any other. It's just a legal one.
Drug addiction can be very nasty. Especially when dealing with cocaine, meth, or heroin. The drug use is a choice at first, however it can quickly become a physical dependency. Cocaine being one of the longest lasting addictions in the brain.
Drug addiction actually causes physical changes inside the brain. Apart from possibly killing certain cells, it also affects receptors on the neurons causing them to build up caps building your tolerance.
Can someone be addicted really badly without any significant cause?
Absolutely. All it takes is using the drug enough for a dependency to build up. If you start having withdrawal symptoms, you've become addicted. Some drugs, like heroin, develop an addiction very quickly. Sometimes in as little as one use.
What can you tell yourself?
I would suggest some councelling if you haven't already. Grief can be difficult to deal with, especially when you have questions like these. Perhaps they had an addictive personality. Perhaps they were self medicating for other mental disorders (much more common than people think). Perhaps they just really liked how the drugs made them feel. I'm very sorry, but this isn't one I can really answer.
I'm very sorry you lost your child. That's a nightmare no parent should have to face.
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