A
female
age
30-35,
*ennise Marie
writes:Hi again Aunt/ uncle agonies. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read. I am going through an awful breakup, and all i wanna do is move on. I've been getting advice from all my friend on how to achieve this, but for some odd reason every suggestion they make is related to me acting like a slut. Not the kind that gets pay for sex but the kind that has one night stands, goes out on dinner dates with several guys with no formal intentions, flirts, wears sexy clothes in inappropriate places to feel sexy all the time, etc... I know i am attractive and i could pull this off, and i am no prude but ive never been the kind of person that does all this stuff,especially when im going through a breakup, i usually just stick to my friends,try to distract myself and stay the hell away from boys. So my question is does getting a bunch of attention from guys help you get over someone? Is being slutty the solution?
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a break, flirt, move on, one night stand Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): it is a good thing to always look your bet to go out.. but not to drastically change your style.. that will seems like a desperate attention..in my experience, stick to your family n friends. dont even mention bout ur ex or how u miss ur ex.. (its ok if once a while, but let it not be ur main topic). other than that, join a gym.. any frustrated feeling, juz kick them off in kick boxing class.. get more involve in your hobby.. for example, if you like doing art and children, do part time job in teaching (kids helps to ease ur pain).. if u like dancing, go enrol in dance class with ur friends (",)i hope this will help you.. that was how i did it when i had a breakup.. it was tough to figure out what to do, but juz try to relax urself, everything will come easy (",)
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (9 September 2011):
 what about your self respect . if you dress that way you will get attention from guy,s that is for sure. but dressing like a slut will get you the type of guy,s that are interested in one thing, and in the long run it will not be you. i am afraid you will not win in the end, but have more heart ache.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 No it isn't. I'm afraid you will just make yourself "feel" wanted while various males have pleasure. The brief sensation of being fancied will only last a short while and then you will come crashing down to dealing with your sadness.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (9 September 2011):
Do whatever you feel will help you get over it, but stay true to yourself and your morals. If you go around acting like a slut, it's probably going to mess you up more.
Is this ex-boyfriend really worth you ruining your reputation and self-respect over? I doubt that.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (9 September 2011):
For a majority of women, I think this is a resounding NO. If you don't normally act that way, and it sounds like this is definitely the case, then what will happen is that your self esteem will actually be even lower after you "act a slut". In short, you would probably come to regret your actions. So while you might get a little boost from some new male attention as it's happening, it just isn't a good plan to get over a relationship. You'll come crashing right back down.
I think the better thing to do is spend time with your support system - your friends and family. Be on your own for a little bit, at least until you are not so broken up over your ex. Listen to your heart, it'll tell you when you're ready to get back out there.
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (9 September 2011):
what about your self respect, if you dress and act like a slut you are advertising for guy,s that is interested in one thing , and it will not be you in the long run.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 September 2011):
 No.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): If some kind of behavior did not make you feel good before you were with this guy, then it probably won't make you feel good after you break off with him either.
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A
female
reader, bunnyblueeyes +, writes (9 September 2011):
 I'm not sure it will work for you. If you aren't that sort of person then acting that way would make you more upset.Your way of doing it sounds so much better for you.Good luck
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Getting male attention provides momentary pleasure but sometimes it does help to know or be reminded that others find you appealing and that you have options in the future.
When you're ready, there is nothing wrong with going out on dates with men you have no long term plans with. That's how every relationships starts. 'Dates' does not mean heavy petting or bed hopping. It means going out for coffee, for lunch or for dinner, the cinema, the museum, or some other outing.
Nothing good will come out of playing the trollop. It isn't being true to yourself, you'd damage your reputation and expose yourself to unnecessary physical risks.
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