A
female
age
30-35,
*eartache112
writes:What do i do? I love my boyfriend but lately things have gone weird. We used to live 10-15 mins away from each other and we used to spend all of our time together, texting, calling and hanging out but ever since i moved closer to my family about 1hr - 1 hr 30 mins away, he has gone weird.He cancels our plans at the last minute, with urgent things he has to do with his friends. When ever i call him i get the i'll call you back. He never has time to talk to me anymore. I thought long hard about what to do and so i decided that i would closer to him, cause he cant move closer to me (he has a son from a previous relationship, doesnt want to take him out of school and his job etc) and i understand all that, so im willing to move closer to him but when i suggested that in a few months i will move closer, he full went weird saying how the drive to and from work will make me tired and cranky (its an extra 40-60 mins to work to get there and back)... it devestated me .. here i was thinking the answer to our non existent communication was in me moving ... and i got slammed. I just dont know what to do, is a relationship going to survive on speaking to each 5 mins a day and seeing each when we can (every 2-3 weeks)? He has also started acting differently, i cant put my finger on it but i know something is up, he just want tell me what it is and when i ask him whats up, he tells me that there is nothing and brings the question back on to me. I thought our relationship was solid, we were friends before we started dating and were both comfortable been around each other, so why has he changed, is he having a change of heart about me?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Susie +, writes (9 September 2011):
 It's not sounding too good. It sounds as though you are the only one interested in this working. I wouldn't be putting myself out too much for him, if I were you. Try talking to him when you can, to find out exactly where you stand with him. Good luck.
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 He is being immature. I doubt that he is cheating, but he resents the fact that you moved away from him and made it so difficult. He is the kid with the magnifying glass watching you squirm. He wants to equalize the playing field and make you feel bad for "abandoning him" in his own skewed way. I know this, because when I was a kid I used to do the same thing to a woman that I felt had hurt me in some way. The thing is, I would do that by ending it. I am guilty of feeling happy for getting even with someone who strung me along for weeks at a time when i was seventeen. It was immature and stupid, even for a kid. He is doing that to someone but taking solace in the fact that he is doing it while he is giving her hope. What I did of "paying someone back" by dumping them suddenly was definitely wrong, in terms of motivation and reason. Dumping someone out of anger and passive aggression as opposed to talking to them and explaining exactly why you dumped them. This asshole is stringing you along, making you feel like you have a relationship, and he is making you feel confused, desperate, and making you do crazy stuff like move an hour closer away from work. His dumb ass either needs to end it or grow up and meet you half way. If he feels so strongly about it that it can reduce him to a little baby, then he can take the time to drive an visit you. It's 1.5 hours! Not paris!The fact of the matter is, you were convenient and he is sulking and brooding over the fact that he has been inconvenienced. He is not having sex with other women yet. Even if he is, it is not cheating, because the relationship is technically over. Don't even bother with him. Leave the kids' table and come sit with the adults.-IHateWomanBeaters
...............................
A
female
reader, jerseyncorbinsmommy +, writes (9 September 2011):
 It sounds like he has something to hide and thats why he don't want you to be closer. You seem to be the only person at this point who's willing to work for your relationship. Becareful. Ask questions n look into things
...............................
|
