A
male
age
30-35,
*ptimusmaximus13
writes:Okay, so this is really complicated(then again what relationship doesn't have it's complications?). Six months before I met this guy(I'm a gay guy, by the way), I had a dream about some guy of a significant age difference. We loved each other so very much, but my age(I'm 17, he's 34) worried him. If I was 18 he said it wouldn't be so bad. I can't remember too much of the dream except being in the kitchen with him. Disclaimer, I'm a big believer in soul mates and twin flames, but have never experienced this kind of deja vu or dream-reality connection with ANY guy before or any guy since I met him. Anyhow, by November, I met him at the Mall, and felt an uncanny familiarity. Not until the second day when we were in his kitchen did I remember the dream. And vividly too, I wanted to say something but I didn't. Anyways, we got really close, but there was tension because I was under 18. I could tell he loved me and I really loved him, and I wished I could be with him but we couldn't -- we can't. Not until I'm 18 anyways. He always encouraged me to find people closer to my age group. I obliged, but only because it made him happy. I would've been okay with my current group of friends, and to stay single. Every time I went out with someone, I could get a flame of interest and affection going, and I could develop feelings for them, but give or take a few days later they would be completely extinguished and he would slip back into my mind. I had a dream this morning before I woke up that I had to move on and let him go for an indefinite amount of time, but he told me that we would be able to be together again someday. Well, later today we talked and stuff, and we had the same exact discussion and I started bursting in tears and crying, my worst nightmare. I found out he started seeing someone, and I just completely broke down. It felt completely wrong and out of place. He told me that he couldn't be with me because I wasn't 18 yet, I didn't want to loose him, I loved him so much, and told him how I felt and how I felt that we were meant to be together, but he told me you never know what the future holds. It felt right, but the timing wasn't right. Had I met him a year later, it would've worked out better. My instincts and intuition tell me that someday it will work out between the two of us and we'll be together. Anyhow, I just want advice on how to handle this? I've dated about 7 guys in my life, and this guy I have never felt the same with any other. That includes the 2 I dated after we met. I feel like half of myself has been torn out. My light has been dimmed.
View related questions:
move on, soul mates, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, optimusmaximus13 +, writes (11 January 2011):
optimusmaximus13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDanielepew and AvgGuy1, thank you for your food for thought. It is indeed hard. We're still friends but I haven't talked to him as much anymore. I've come to the conclusion that he will be stuck in my mind for a very long time. I talked to my mother about it and she was sorry, my family knows pretty much all of them and they're being supportive. They told me just to hang in there as do all of my friends. If its meant to be he will be back they say. In the mean time I'm wrapping up high school and looking for jobs. Its wierd because I've never had anything like this happen to me with someone this old. I generally dont go out that far deep, so to speak. I guess its a new experience to reflect on.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Your subconscience, via your dream, was telling you it was 'wrong' anyway.
As Danielepew points out... he really CAN'T date you until you're older. I'm surprised that he, and to a lessor degree you, let it get so emotionally entangled when you are 'underage'. That's all water under the bridge - as they say - so you just have get over him, as hard as that is... and hang in there till you're 18 and you can start dating older guys (if that's what you mainly prefer).
Hang in their kiddo.
...............................
A
male
reader, optimusmaximus13 +, writes (11 January 2011):
optimusmaximus13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow... If i wouldve known that the title would come out like that i wouldntve made an automatic one... Shoulda chosen something like forbidden love.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 34-year-old does not want to be accused of being a child molester. You're 17, so he won't touch you. And he is doing the right thing.
Now, I am sorry to say this, but I can't be sure he's as much into you as you are into him. Maybe because he is older and wiser he tends to see relationships in a more relaxed way.
My advice is, live your life as you normally would. Maybe he'll see you when you become 18, but don't bet on that.
...............................
|
