A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am married to a very handsome and successful man. A neighbor, newly single, gave us gifts at Christmas that were larger than I expected. They gifts for me were items for the house (the price stickers were highlighted so I suspect that they were not as expensive as they looked). However, the item for my husband was a very expensive shirt with a logo of the very expensive car that he drives. There have been a few times when I felt that this person showed a bit too much interest in my husband and now I feel that this confirms it. Unless the item is a joke apron or t-shirt, expensive clothing is too personal to give someone else's husband. I thought that we were friends as well and now I wonder how to handle all this? Do I thank her for the gifts? Do I avoid her? Do I remain friends or nodding acquintance and neighbor? Or do I call her on it and tell what I really think?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 You might be reading too much into it. Maybe she is just a nice person. Leaving the price tags on the gift is a little strange. I know sometimes, at least in Canada, when something is reduced in price, they stroke through or circle the original price, before attaching a lower price tag.
Is she pretty? Is she fit? Are you perhaps feeling a little insecurre. Watch the situation carefully. You have your suspicions already so try to get a grip on what's really happening before you make a scene ans embarrass everybody, without reason.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): I can speak from an older single woman's perspective...it gets really old when married couples automatically think single women are on the hunt for anything including your husband and every gesture of friendship is taken as a threat instead of what it was genuinely meant to be....she may be trying a little too hard to make friends with you both as she is newly single and a bit lonely....I seriously don't think she meant anything by the gift if it was given in your prescence.....why don't you introduce her to any nice single men you might now and get her off the market!
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 You say you and your husband are already "friends" with this woman? You don't say whether or not you both bought her a present for Christmas? It sounds to me as if she wanted to impress you both. The shirt she bought your husband may have been a copy and not an original and it may have been given out of total friendship, however you say you have been watching her and in a nutshell she has an "eye" on your man. Thank her for the gifts next time you see her but let her know she shouldn't have went to all that trouble and a card will suffice next time. This of course means YOU don't buy her anything next Christmas and if you're still friendly with her by then you give her a card and maybe a bottle of wine in the run up to Christmas. Hopefully she'll get the hint.
In the meantime I would keep a close eye on her when she's around your husband. (Keep a close eye on him too) Watch for signs of whether she's flirting with him too much and if this makes you uneasy then you either need to talk to her about it or you and your husband keep your distance from her and withdraw a bit more.
If you nip it in the bud straight away she'll see you're no fool and hopefully will give up the chase.
Eve
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
I'd let this go. Like CD said, do you know how hard it is to find a nice gift for a man? Pretty hard. I think she found a nice thing to give to him. And she gave you some gifts too... don't worry about what the price tag says. Maybe she got your husband's gift on sale too. I don't think you should start accusing her of liking your husband - maybe she's just trying to show you guys how much she appreciates you as neighbors. You say that you're friends with her - I think she's just trying to be friendly.
Unless she starts coming to your house when you're not home to talk to your husband, I doubt you have anything to worry about.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, xBadabingbadaboomx +, writes (30 January 2007):
 She was probably just trying to be nice and wants to feel accepted in the new area, by getting an expensive gift it shows that she wants to fit in i suppose.
I dont think its anything to worry about.
Take Care x
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (30 January 2007):
 I think she was trying to be generous with the gifts. Men are incredibly hard to buy for if you don't know them well and she probably felt she was being thoughtful by giving him a shirt with his car on it. And really even if this woman is totally in love with your husband he's still married to you and if she's a real friend she would never act on it anyway. If the gift were really as personal and an indication of something deeper as you seem to think she would have given it to him in private, not publicly so you saw it. Try to chill out.
CD
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