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male
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anonymous
writes:I'm 18 never had a proper girlfriend and never had a proper kiss with any girl and obviously never had sex. I'm getting fed up of all this pressure to have sex (there was this thing on BBC Radio 1 about sex) and it just brought back all this pressure of having sex.I'm even willing to have a one night stand I'm that desperate to lose my virginity.Am I considered late in losing my virginity?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): I'm in the exact same boat dude. I'm 19 and feel like the world is laughing at me because i haven't had sex. I know it's not for lack of offers, but I've just never felt 'ready' yet. The thing that really gets to me is whenever I tell people, and they all act like I'm noble or something.
For example a girl who liked me, we'd kissed and danced in town for the first time, and I told her I was a virgin, and she called me 'cute' -.- It doesn't make you feel any better, but I think a lot of the advice is based around the same principle, wait until it feels right, and at 19 it still hasn't for me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): Right now actually these past few weeks I've felt really intensely bad because I had to wait until I just turned 24 before losing my virginity. The girl I was with from 22 had a physical problem and made me wait this long before sorting it out. I met a great girl recently who is 18 and she lost it in to some guy she knew for 2 days. Then 2 weeks later they were arguing. Makes me angry how some people just get luck and get it so easily. I had a chance at 16/17 but I was so socially inadequate, I could barely talk to girls, I thought I was totally dislikable. Somehow it went on until 22 after a bad rejection aged 19, I considered suicide and nearly tried it. I still can't explain it all because I had my first proper kiss aged 11 ( to a girl the same age ) but when I hit 13 the hormones and all that had a HUGE affect on me for the worse, it didn't help me get girls at all. So I kissed and cuddled plenty of girls but the first sex stuff I did, I was 22, and it would have been when I first had sex but for being forced to wait by a great girl but a very timid naive one. Being with this 18 year old now is a bit like filling in a gap, trying to make up for my awful time from 16-22, she makes me feel great, but bad at the same time, I'm so jealous of the time she's having now, having had about 4 or 5 sexual partners already. But at the moment, I can't explain how bad I've felt about losing it late, trying to change the past, it's awful, I don't consider myself ugly, it was just me as a person, I was messed up, and I can't change it now. I wish I could be 18 again and I too believe I would have tried to lose my virginity to a one night stand, then I wouldn't have this awful feeling now. Having spoken to girls about this it seems that they don't feel as bad about waiting, maybe it's a male thing? I really don't know but I get really sick of feeling so bad about this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): Hey bro, there is nothin to be ashamed of its great to still be a virgin. any day u can be like everyone else and have sex but THEY CAN NEVER RETURN TO BE A VIRGIN LIKE U. I myself am 18 and a virgin. That is by choice not by lack of woman. I am a good lookin athletic guy and I have a gorgeous girlfriend and we have decided to wait till we get married to have sex. Its really hard but its worth it. God is giving my gf and i strength, read the bible bro look how much value God gives to remaining sexually pure. take care and God Bless
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): i think that you are one of a kind for the way that you are living your life right now.. i would do anything to still be virgin. dont push it.. you will know its right when you dont have to second guess it or question it. and i wish you the best!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): ha! well i have been a radio 1 listener for years, i have listened for ages! the sex surveys and all the sex stuff they have been doing has opened my eyes.
and as for your question well i can only say you are not alone. i am in exactly the same boat as you. i am 18, never kissed a girl and so on. i have had somthing close to a girlfreind last year but nothing come of it. it soemtimes does get me down that nothing happens but you have to battle on, i have never considered myself as bad looking, and i go down the gym and enjoy looking after myself. but i cant really provide a correct answer to your question. nor can i tell you how many people aged 18 are virgins and whom are not. all i can say is that we are not alone on this. it isn't a case of being bad looking (i have been told i look quite cute by girls and so on). i think it is just a lack of confidence and mabie having respect for women instead of saying "oh i would love to do her" for example.
somthing is bound to come along, but i think it is just a key of looking for the right girls. i know some may class me or you as late but i would rather lose my virginity in a loving relationship than a one night stand...
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (16 August 2006):
 Of course 18 is not too old to be a virgin! There are plenty of guys and girls who are 18+ who still have not had sex. You just need to wait for the right girl - if she is right for you, she won't care whether you are a virgin or not. Don't have a one-night stand simply to lose your virginity, I think you would regret it later.Good luck and please make the right choice.Mushgirl xxx
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female
reader, jn +, writes (15 August 2006):
 No, you should be proud of your self! My children's father and I wanted to wait till we where married, lol we made it until my 18th birthday before we did any thing. (two months after he turned 18. If I could go back and change it I would have waited longer. Stay true to your self there are to many STD's out there not to mention the cost of an unplanned child. Your Virginity in some thing you only have once. If you believe in God, get involved with a church, there are a lot of kids your age out there that are struggling with pure pressure, hormones, and depression about virginity. It's better to be around people who have some thing in common with you, that way you don't give in and "give it up to just any body"
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): No, i guess the 40yo virgin is the end bracket for being late!
I'm Male, 19 and a virgin.
No im not desperate, i have alot of contact with the opposite sex and have had alot of girlfriends ( a few too many probably why i never get round to having sex).
I dont do one night stands i have to be in love with someone and i dont peer pressure someone into having sex with me regardless if they love me or not.
Yes, there are girls losing theirs at around 13 and some as low as 11 but thats extremely low!!
23 i would say is late, 25+ very late.
11 really early, 13-16 early, 17-19 is the average age
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Don't let anything or anyone pressurize you. No age is too late it's down to personal choice and situation. Do it when YOU want to. Maybe when you're comfortable enough with someone you really care about. I think that most men expect that they're supposed to get rid of virginity as quickly as possible and sure there's peer pressure, but that's unfair. You shouldn't take any notice of what anyone else is doing and saying. You are perfectly normal and 18 is a fine age to reach without having rushed it. I respect you for not giving in to the pressure and am saddened that you feel an institution as big as the BBC is sending that message. It's irresponsible. Promoting safe sex and giving advice is great but they should bear in mind that there are many many people of your age who are not jumping in and out of bed and perhaps give balanced advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): I don't think that being an 18-year-old virgin is late for you; I'm 20 and still a virgin, but alot of times I feel the same way you do. But don't let other people think for you; it's really your decision as to what you want to do. Just take the time to think about the pros and cons of your decision and see who weights out in the end. Then when you're clear on what you want to do, you won't regret the decision you've made. Good luck!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): I was 27 when i lost my virginity fair enough i suppose that was late but there was a lot of issues going on in my life at the time before hand.In away im glad it happened this way as im still with the same partner :)
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (15 August 2006):
 18 is not late to lose your virginity - I saw this survey on the bbc website (radio 1 survey) saying that one third of people lose their virginity before the age of consent of 16...hmm says who, the teens who were polled and felt obliged to give into peer-pressure and say they were doing it when half of them haven't even kissed anyone no doubt. Ironically this article was posted between two news items on the growing AIDS crisis, and the ignorance about safe sex amongst UK teens. My point is that sex is everywhere is the media - the good, the bad, the ugly - one night stands are a poor way to lose it at any age...you could end up losing your virginity and acquiring some nasty infection instead. Why not save it for a girl who really likes you? It will make you feel better about yourself and a mature girl will think a lot of the fact you are a virgin - it means you are not a player after her for sex only. I didn't lose it until well into my 20's as I waited for what I thought was the right person to come along.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): I think that's what more important is why you lose your virginity and who with, rather than what age you lose it. It's much more important to find the right person first who means a lot to you, so the first time will be more special, and worth the wait. I know that this applies to me, i want my first time to be special however old i am and the last thing i would want to do is waste it on a dirty one night stand. Plus ive heard of ppl in their late twenties who are still virgins. Dont rush into anything, you've got plenty of time and good things do come to those who wait!!Good luck and much love xx
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (15 August 2006):
 I lost my virginity when I was young to a girl a few years older than me, no emotion involved at all.
In later years, I met a wonderful girl and wish I had saved my virginity for that one special person.
You can look at it as experience, I look at it as a treasured thing lost.
If I could have the choice again, rather than 'Lose' my virginity, I would choose to 'give' it to somebody special.
That person is there somewhere for you, dont throw it away.
You can never get it back. You should be proud to be a virgin. This goes to prove that not all men are sluts.
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Sorry, I kind of never answered the question, no 18 is not too old to be considered a virgin at all, sorry. xXx
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (15 August 2006):
My friend, dont worry, there are many virgins in their twenties and older, dont be in such a hurry to do it, wait for that special girl so it will be a special first time and not a clumsy, dirty one night stand. Take care. xXx
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female
reader, finchy +, writes (15 August 2006):
 i dont think 18 is late.. im 17 im a virgin and i intend on staying one until i meet the right guy!.. enjoy your life and when you meet the right person its up to you..
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Definitely not, sex is a very special thing and should be treated this way. Most people regret losing their virginity because they were so desperate to do so, they did it in a stupid way and it was all wrong. I don't think you really appreciate sex for what it is until you've done it, then it's too late to get it back.
I'm speaking as a girl, obviously for guys, I know it can be different. I just hate it when people think they have to do something like this because other people make them feel they have to. Lot's of people of 18 have not had sex yet, it's not as if you're 40! You just haven't met the right person yet.
You're 18 years old and you're old enough not to get dragged in to all that peer pressure rubbish, just be you. When it feels right, do it, but don't spend your life wanting to do it, it will only be a disappointment if you do that and you'll also be unhappy along the way too. You stick to your guns and wait until the right girl comes along, I promise it will be worth it.
Having a one night stand it very dangerous, both emotionally and physically. You may feel good to have lost your virginity but what if you catch something off her? There's always the risk, even if you use contraception. Also, what if you meet your dream girl a week later, won't you wish you'd waited and lost it to her?
There's so many reasons to just chill out and wait but I know that's easy for me to say. I was abused when I was a little girl and never got to have a proper night where I lost my virginity. Because of this, I told all my mates to be careful and wait for the right guy, I wanted it to be special for them. They didn't listen and all regret it now.
Good luck, and remember you have your whole life ahead of you.
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