A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is ten years a big age gap in a relationship. I am 34 and my bf is 24. Sometimes he worries what we'll look like together in the future. As it stands I don't look my age but I am extremely aware of my actual age. We get asked for id all the time and they are always shocked at my age. I don't see the massive gap between us other than he is slightly immature at times and still seems to have a lot to do in life to get started and a lot to learn. People tell me to be with someone my own age but I don't see why it doesn't matter at all to me that he's ten years younger than me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2022): The age gap matters if he is a bit immature (as you say) and if he is worried how you might look together in future. It also matters if you are at different life stages or likely to be in a few years time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2022): But it matters to him, apparently , that you are 10 years older, and this does not bode well for the future.
I have know, and know now, several couples with a big age gap , some imploded( not necessarily only due to a big age difference, but certainly it eas a contributing factor)- some instead lasted no matter what. But in those who lasted, both partners honestly and totally did not feel embarassed or uneasy or worried about their difference in age and in looks.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2022): My boyfriend and I are 15 years apart. I am younger. Neither of us has a problem with it. We are very happy together. :)
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 May 2022):
 While I'm personally not a big fan of age gaps (more than 5-6 years), I don't think it matters too much once the YOUNGEST has reached 25-27. Let me explain why. Most people have formed their personality, set some goals, begun a career, and are aware FULLY that they are adults.
Everyone matures at different speeds. Grow at different speeds.
The fact that HE worries about how you two will look together, later on, would be something to consider.
Do you want kids? If so, you don't have a WHOLE lot of time, HE does. He might not want any now, but when he hits 30, he might and you might not be able at 40 to carry a healthy baby to term. So in that situation, the age gap matters.
Is he independent? Has a career, a job, and things going for him? (do you?)
When you are together do you take on a "parent role" or feel like you "know better" because you are older?
Generally, if the two of you are on the same level, financially, emotionally, and healthwise I don't see the issue. That would be the same if HE was the older of the two of you.
You don't mention how long you have been together. So for now? Just enjoy it and see where it goes?
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A
female
reader, Stoneruby  +, writes (26 May 2022):
 My partner is 10 years older than me, 50 and 60. It doesnt bother me at all because we have nothing else to do but enjoy each others company. We got kids and most responsibilities out they way due to the stage of life we are in so pretty much on the same page. The age gap between you two may run its course if you start thinking you would like to settle down ( or maybe him) while the other still wants to party. If my son was 24 and were to pick up with a lady 10 years his senior, Id probably be advising him to be mindful that in time it may well be you have come to a time when you just want different age stage things from the relationship that take you on different paths. Do you really see each other as long term future partners...if so go for it, who gives a hoot! No one knows what the future holds enjoy each other for as long as it feels good.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (26 May 2022):
 I don't think that this is a bad age gap at all. Age gaps usually only become a problem if either one of you has an issue with it.
Age gaps always seem more when we are younger, but as we get older, and lets say for example your 54, and he is 44 it won't even be noticeable, not that its even noticeable now to be honest.
If you are happy with him right now, and you don't have an issue with it then just live for the moment and enjoy being in this relationship.
At the end of the day age is only a number, it's the feelings and emotions that are important.
Of course people are always going to tell you to do this, do that, we think that you should do this, and date this person that person, someone your own age etc. Take their advice on board because maybe they are looking out for you. But at the end of the day you do what's right for you, and if this feels right go with it, its your life, and your decisions.
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A
female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (26 May 2022):
If the age difference doesn't matter to you, then other people's opinions shouldn't matter to you either.
It sounds like most of these people aren't that important to you if they have to ask your ages before expressing their disapproval. Ignore them. Who cares what they think?
I've been there. Try to grow a thick skin and don't let the "Mrs Robinson" jokes get to you too much.
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