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female
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anonymous
writes: Should I tell my fiance or not? Last night my partners work mate came over so I could keep him company, as he has recently split from his girlfriend. I was very tipsy, and a sympathy hug ended in a kiss on the lips, it was very quick and it was only once, as I pulled away. Today I feel so guilty. Should I tell my fiance or not? (very confused).
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female
reader, pica +, writes (24 November 2006):
I say let it go it if was just a quick affectionate peck. Chances are that once told it could get way more significance that it deserves. It doesn't sound like you had any intentions towards the guy so don't beat yourself up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): Wow...another alcohol "impared" judgement lapse.
Listen, don't make a habit of this and what the heck is your BF thinking? Letting a single male into his home while his GF is home?
Use wisdom.
I say you tell him the truth. He needs to know he cannot trust you and alcohol and other available men.
Then DON'T put yourself in the same situation EVER!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): As with D4u04, I suggest that you don't tell him if it was one of those quick, 'harmless', friendly things that when you became sober enough, thought and felt, "NO! I don't believe I did that! Never again! Damn you alcohol!", then no, don't tell him.
Sometimes, you don't have to expose all your truths to someone you intend to spend the rest of your life with. Little things like this can cause massive ruptures in a loving relationship, no matter how 'founded' a relationship may be. Mind you this also depends on the partner.
Say I am engaged with my partner, and I could feel that we're meant for each other. If she does something like that, and I wasn't there to see it, I will appreciate it if she tells me and apologizes if she feels the need to. However, let's say I found out and she never told me about it, I would also understand why she didn't want to tell me, in case it would cause a rift in our relationship.
Sometimes, as a guy, or even as a woman, there is a balance of thoughts, considerations, and the importance of such trivial actions.
Anyway, look at D4u04's words, and make your choices from that.
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A
male
reader, Prada +, writes (24 November 2006):
You have to tell him because he has every right to know.wouldnt you wont to know?and yes you are planning to spend the rest of your life with him you dont want to get the rest of your lives kicked off by not telling the truth.
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A
female
reader, Sally R. Cinnamon +, writes (23 November 2006):
 Your fiance is the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with, right? Is there anything more important when starting out on this path than to do so truthfully?
If one day your husband meets someone and fancies them a little bit (as will happen sometime!), would you prefer that he told you? If he accidentally kisses someone and feels guilty, would you prefer he came to tell you? What kind of marriage do you want to build with him?
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A
male
reader, d4u04  +, writes (23 November 2006):
 Was there a spark of any sort when you kissed? If so then I would tell your boyfriend as if things develop further (which they usually do lets be honest) it will only end in heartache.
If there wasn't a spark and you can hand-on-heart dismiss it as just a comforting, friendly kiss to a friend, then I don't see a reason why you should tell your boyfriend, that would be like telling him every time you hug someone, no need.
Personally I don't see a kiss on the lips as cheating, I kiss my friends all the time. If it's a snog and there was a definate connection then obviously it's different and you should tell your partner. Because when you start lying about feelings for other people, it becomes a slippery slope and you can't stop. And the thing is, you ALWAYS get found out eventually no matter what people think.
Hope this helps hun x
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