A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I really need advice. I have been dating a guy for 6 months and we haven't held hands or kissed or anything romantic yet. I am beginning to have doubts. He is 42 and I am a little bit younger. When I try to ask him about his previous jobs, relationships, education etc he changes the subject when we talk on the phone. I am wondering if he is hiding something from me since he won't talk about it and changes the subject. Apparently before me he never had a serious relationship because he thought he needed money for everything. I am considering breaking up with him but not sure yet. I am also considering a possible relationship I know with a different guy who I have known for a lot longer even though he is now divorced.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2012): Try taking the initiative with the physical closeness in public thing. Just because you are female doesn't preclude you from making a move!!!! If he won't talk about himself and his life though?? Bit of a red flag tbh. Not saying he is married or stringin you alon 'per se' but it is strange he can't open up about the things that make him 'him' :-P If he can't do that you can't make an accurate assessment of your feelings for him. Good luck hugs
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 June 2012):
This may sound stupid, but are you sure he's not married?
Because he's either hiding a family, or he has some major emotional and personal issues that he's hiding.
Either way, you might well be better off letting this one go. After 6 months, your relationship should not be like this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Do you have a LDR with him? DO you guys mainly talk on the phone or do you two go out on dates? Dinner, movies, walk in the park?
Do you know where he lives? Do you know where he works? Where did you meet him?
How often do you two see each other in person?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 June 2012):
 6 months in you should have covered all the basics and gotten to know eachother better. Sharing the past, jobs, education etc is normal...if he isn't telling you, then something sounds a bit dodgy!!
You would imagine the romantic intimate side of things should have kicked off by now, so again, I'd assume all was not going well and it would give me doubts.
It's cards on the table time because you have to know before you proceed...you already have one foot out the door so I'd go for broke and confront him.
Some people just arn't cut out for relationships and have no idea or inclination to make things work. They are quite happy to drift along, keeping you in the darkness of their enigmatic lifestyle and driving you nuts in the process.
The fact that he thinks he needs money for things to be successful screams to me...CLUELESS!!!!
Have you got the energy to work him out and try to make a something out of nothing where it is likely you will end up doing all the moves, or is it time to quit and try and find someone more suitable??
It's up to you girly!!!
xxxxx good luck xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (7 June 2012):
I'd say it's high time you ask him if he has any romantic feelings for you. Either he sees you as friend or he's too shy to initiate something.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Confront him on the romantic issue. He will know how you feel and then he may act on it. After confronting him, see how things go and if nothing improves maybe you should try the relationship with the other guy. Hope this helps
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