A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Help please . After a row my man has ignored me for five days so i've assumed we're done. He hasnt done this for a while but in past has come back . I'm not texting him any more but i dont get it as even after the row he said didn want to end but that i frustrate him . If he comes back do i let him? Its not a nice thing to do to someone whether they frustrate you or not :(
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (7 June 2012):
I agree with Anonymous. Not communicating with someone for 5 days is not good if you're in a relationship. I really don't understand posters who say "make sure you treat him nice and be friendly and make sure you don't accuse him of anything". I have tip-toed around men for years, always being nice when they act up, always being friendly when they misbehave, always pampering them...and what has it gotten me? Basically, nothing. They learn they don't have to be responsible in a relationship. They learn that even though they're supposed to be responsible to another person, they can act like a single person and do whatever it is they want and feel. Then we women are just supposed to accept whatever their terrible behavior. I would start by calling him and asking him if something is wrong because you haven't heard from him for a few days-be proactive. See what his answer is. The unfortunate truth is that you can't have a relationship of any kind without communication. Heck, I communicate with my male neighbors more in 5 days...know what I mean? If he doesn't give you a satisfactory answer, I would ignore him and kick him to the curb. I allowed my ex to do this to me for 2 years before I finally got sick of it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Thank you so much for all of your advice really appreciate it x
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (7 June 2012):
When he comes back which he is likely to just be calm and pleasant and do not refer to the row in any way. Talk to him in a happy non-accusatory voice. I am assuming you want him back so be friendly if he does call but don't ask him any questions about what he has been doing during this time or make a fuss about him not being in contact or you will frighten him off and put him in a mood. Light and friendly is the key and get him off the phone quickly so he knows you have a happy full life and haven't just been sitting around waiting for him to call.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 June 2012):
He is in his man cave sulking and trying to work things out. Leave him be, he will be back and the quickest way to heal things is to both say sorry and discuss the grievances calmly without casting blame.
He has said he doesn't want to end things, so assume that he will return...because he will.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Depends what you or he did. I wouldnt let him come back personally as it sounds as though he doesnt respect you enough or your feelings.
He hasnt had a conscience for the last 5 days whilst letting you suffer so ignore him when he comes back. Tell him thanks but no thanks and get yourself back on the dating scene ready for a more mature man!
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