A
female
age
41-50,
*hatdoidowithhim
writes:I'll start off my saying i'm very much in love with my boyfriend. He's a good guy with a lot to offer, one that i can see a future with, so far, still a lot to learn about each other. We've been dating for over year... and conversation came about, in short - he admitted to me that in the past, in between his relationships, he's frequented 'massage parlors' and has paid for sex there. Should something like this be of major concern? He's said that the last time he's gone was 2 years ago, after a break up. He's said that he has never cheated on me or visited this place while we were together. And i believe him. But somewhere in my heart is still worry. I feel worried for our future. am i over reacting, since this is something in his past... and he's even admitted to it, and is open to answering all specifics about it? He seems to not be hiding anything. Again, am i over reacting?? please help... troubled heart.
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female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (25 August 2007):
 I have had similar shock as you. My bf told me he had sex with a girl he met on the internet. Kissed many guys. And talked dirty to lots of girls when he got the internet. Now I know thats not as bad as yours but I think you should trust him. I had worry with my boyfriend when he told me this. I thought he would go talk to girls on the net and have sex with girls from myspace he meets at random. But hes been with me for a year and so has your boyfriend.
I feel as thought you should take his word for it and respect that he actually told you about this. Im sure he was very scared and worried about your reaction buut he was being honest with you. Which is a very good thing in a relationship. Honesty.
Talk to him more about how uncomfatable you feel knowing about it. Warn him that if he does anything liek that ever
in the relationship you will walk out. Give him a warning. But I think you should trust him. It sounds like he loves you and you love him. Of course you can stil worry about it and talk to him whwver you still feel anxious. If you talk more then you will gradually start to believe him and feel better.
goodluck sweetheart
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): I don't see as any woman filled his sexual needs over those many years, and now you are going to be the one to do just that. BS,BS,BS. I own the Golden Gate Bridge and if you want to buy it,It's yours. With your Bf's past track-record,if I were you I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (25 August 2007):
It seems like a big thing especially since it is illegal in this country (was he in another country when these things happened?). But he admitted it, it was when he was single and it is in the past. I think you (and a lot of people would be too) are stuck on the "paid" part of all this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): I think if he had any intention of going back to those massage parlors he would have kept this very secret. I can imagine not very many would be honest like he is being. If you left could you bet your life that the next man you meet hasnt done it too? Like you mentioned,he`s a good guy with a lot to offer.Give it a chance.
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (25 August 2007):
 Well you're not over reacting, that is a big shock! However, you can't make things an issue that happened in the past. We all at some point did things in our past that we regret, aren't proud of and can even be shocking. So don't hold it against him. He opened up to you and not a lot of guys do that. IF you make this a big deal he might hold off on telling you things in fear that you will overeact again.Also he told you that he visited these places while he was single... he never cheated so that is a positive amongst all this negative. However, express to him that though you trust him you do have concerns. After a nice heart to heart let the past be buried and move on! ~dee
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